Forever Mines

Chapter 29- Demons Inside

London

A head nod? A freakin head nod?! How about an apology or an explanation. Of course not, not from him at least.

I don't know why i would expect anything from him. This is what he wanted.

"Child you alright?" Ma calls me taking me out of my miserable imagination.

It's been fun with Khalil's mother. She helped me get my head on straight after me and Khalil fell off and we are still close.

Now she serves as a way to let Khalil see his son because one, I'll be stupid if I have my child stay in that drug filled, whore infested house. And two, I can't stand the sight of Khalil right now.

"Ummm yeah." I make my way to the chair in on the island. "He wasn't no trouble was he?" I say staring at King who was now going through the pantry.

Ever since that boy learned how to walk he think he own every place he step foot in. And he marks his territory by throwing things everywhere.

If that ain't Khalil's child then I don't know who is.

"Oh noooo he was good the whole time." She says smiling fixing a plate.

I slit my eyes and give her a look. She lying. I know my baby.

"Well you know Khalil came by." She starts. I nod my head, scratching the back of my neck.

"Yea I caught him walking out." I mumble.

Thankfully, she understands and drops the conversation. She places a big plate of spaghetti in my face and I stare in shock.

"Ma as good as this look, you know I can't eat all this." I joke but half serious. Lately I been getting thick-fat. Not to much but I don't need it getting it out of hand.

She shakes her head. "Nonsense. Share it with King." She points to King who was already walking up to me staring my food down. "Now that boy can eat." She says laughing.

I pick him up and place him in my lap. "Aht aht." I say plucking his little hands when he tries to dive on the plate.

I give him a forkful. Which turns to two. And three. Pretty soon, half the plate is gone.

"Dang boy, can mama have some?" I ask. He lets me take my first forkful and in the midst, steals my garlic bread.

I sigh and shake my head. Ma was laughing at me.

"Chile you gave up your right to basically have anything of your own when you had him." She says.

I chuckle. "I see that."

After enjoying some nice conversation, I take my plate and place it in the sink. Man went over and took a seat on the couch.

"Don't worry about those dishes London." She pats the space beside her. "Have a seat."

I walk over to her. "Where is King?" I say. I'm surprised he's not going through somebody's belongings.

Ma points to her rocking chair. "Chile He is knocked out."

I sigh and watch him sleep, placing a blanket over his still body.

"Whew it's time for him to get a haircut." I say. It'll be his first one.

"Yeah-." Ma starts but I accidentally interrupt her again.

"Then Vic needs me to help her with-." I'm cut off.

"London?" She says sternly.

I turn back to her and raise my eyebrows.

"Do you ever just check up on yourself. You're always worried about somebody else. How are you doing?" She asked.

I shrug my shoulders. I feel depressed. Sad that my bestfriend is outta my life all for drugs and money. Pissed that I can't give my son the family he deserves. Angry that I can't be good enough for Khalil and even more mad that I still want him. And through fixing everyone else's problems I still have my own demons waiting for me once I'm done

"I'm fine." I say. Giving a half smile.

Ma cocks her head to the side and tap her thighs. "You're lying."

I look down. Suddenly the carpet has gotten 100 times more interesting. "I'm struggling. I'm not gonna lie. But imma thug it one because real ones don't call quits." I say trying to sound strong.

"Even the strongest may need help. And it's ok to ask for it." She says truly concerned.

I wipe my eye and feel water. Am I really ..crying?

Before I can register anything else, I'm pulled into this massive bear hug.

"You're not alone dear. If you need someone I'm here. Always." She whispers.

I blink my eyes continuously. I'm not about to be no punk and cry. That's weak.

I break out of the hug politely and smile. Time to go before I truly cry myself a river.

Grabbing, King, I place him on my hip and gather our things together.

I give one final hug to Ma and thank her and pretty soon we are out the door.

Once I strap King in, i take my seat up front and crank the car up.

The drive home felt like forever. Why couldn't I be enough. Just why.

Pretty soon my eyes were blurry from my tears so I park on the side of the road.

And silently cry.

London really going through it😢