Detroit: Become Human Oneshots & Preferences

Request • Connor

Requested by MendesGrimes16
Where Connor learns what it is to love and how he's known it all along...

"I told you I couldn't. I'm sorry, okay." Connor's words linger in my mind. The words themselves are enough to make me forget about the crippling cold blanketing us.

I remember the distant look on his face as he held the gun, poised to shoot Chloe, the helpless android Kamski was willing to sacrifice. Somehow, I knew deep down that Connor wouldn't shoot her. He couldn't be that emotionless, right?

When he pointed the gun away from her, I felt a curious blend of relief, happiness and satisfaction all at once. Since I was one of the detectives searching for an answer to the deviant problem, I really should have been feeling the opposite. Maybe this was what was needed for him to realise that he was capable of feeling. Capable of feeling compassion, maybe even love?

It's foolish to hope. He's just a machine, Hannah, I tell myself. He will never reciprocate your feelings for him nor will he ever understand.

I notice the look on Hank's face change from shock and perhaps even a smile begins to appear. Hank begins to walk towards his car, leaving Connor and I standing there in the freezing cold. There is a confused and perplexed look on Connor's face, especially in his chocolate brown eyes as he tries to make sense of what's going on.

"Brr. It's freezing." I mutter, not knowing what else to say. I'm met with an awkward and tense silence from Connor, who stands there, dumbfounded.

"What did I do? What's going on with me?" Connor almost whispers to himself.

"Nothing's wrong! This is normal, Connor." I try to reassure him. He shakes his head at me and flakes of snow fall into his face as he does it. I find the sight rather cute, to be honest.

"I was supposed to shoot her. The instructions were there, right in front of my eyes! Hannah, can you tell me why I didn't do it? There must be something wrong with me, surely. Perhaps I need to be checked over." Connor says, looking worried. I walk closer to him and look right into his eyes, almost getting lost in them. It was so easy to get distracted when I was with him. He consumed my thoughts and as much as I shouldn't admit it, I really liked him. Really, really liked him.

"What you did there, just then, was an act of compassion. You saw that she was a girl, not an object so you decided to let her live. You felt sorry for her." I begin to explain. Connor's eyebrows twist as he tries to make sense of my words.

"Felt sorry?" He asks.

"It's completely normal to feel sorry for people. In fact, it's good you did feel sorry for her. You didn't kill her, you let her live. Do you realise how good that is of you? You went against your orders because of your feelings. If more people did that in the world, maybe it would be a better place to live in. Connor, it's okay to have feelings. It's a way of life. Feeling things is absolutely fine, it does not make you a bad person and you'll never be judged for it." I answer, placing a hand on his shoulder. I feel him edge slightly closer to me.

"Maybe you're right." He says.

I can't believe I'm about to say it, but I go ahead and do it anyway.

"In fact, I'm glad you're feeling things. Because... I have special feelings that I only feel for you." I admit quietly, almost regretting having said it.

"Special feelings? What kind?" He asks, tilting his head.

"Er... well see I guess I-I love you," I stutter the words. "And you having feelings has taught me to hope in a way I never have before. It even made me realise I love you."

A few moments of silence pass by. Connor stares into my eyes with an intensity as if he's trying to see through my soul. I decide to be adventurous and so I press my warm lips against his cold ones. At first, he tenses up but then I feel his hand resting against my back. I pull away after a bit.

"Hannah, what exactly is love?" He asks. I try not to laugh.

"Love is a range of emotions. Love can mean so many things to people." I begin to explain.

"What's it like to love? What does it mean for you to love me?" Connor asks again. I think as hard as I can.

"With you, I didn't realise I loved you until I saw you spare that girl's life. But I must have loved you all along. See, when you love someone, they consume every thought of yours. You can't eat, you can't sleep, you can't think straight until you see that person again. When you see them, you feel a sense of euphoria. It's like the whole world begins to make sense. Life begins to make sense. Every moment you spend with that person, you would trade anything to keep spending time with that person. Their happiness is your happiness. Their sorrow is your sorrow. And you know you'd do anything for them. Anything for them to be happy. You can't imagine your life without them." I try to explain as best as possible.

Connor looks at me with the same intensity he had earlier. But this time, a smile appears and it makes me feel warm against the snow.

"Well, then. You described how I feel about you, it seems. You put it into words." Connor says.

"Wha-what do you mean?" I stutter awkwardly. Butterflies begin to appear in my stomach.

"I thought there was something wrong with my programming at first. The moment I saw you, I thought I was compromised. Every instruction given to me, every order became nothing as soon as I saw you. Whenever we had to chase a deviant, all I could think about was 'Is she going to be okay?'. I could have chased after Rupert that day, but I decided to save you instead. I knew I couldn't live without seeing your beautiful face every day. Somehow, you were the only thing keeping me going. Seeing your face every day at work, that's what did it for me. If this is what it means to love, then I never want to stop feeling it." Connor replies, beaming widely at me. I smile back at him.

"Connor, I had no idea." I say quietly.

"You thought me saving Chloe was the first time I felt something, but you were wrong. The first time I felt something was when you walked into the room. I love you. More than anything in the universe." Connor says.

"I love you too." I reply. This time, he leans towards my lips first. It lasts longer than the first one and I feel that euphoric feeling again.

"What happens now? If CyberLife find out, I'm done. You'll lose your job and I'll be shut down." Connor says.

"It's easy. We'll be together in secret. No one needs to know except maybe Hank. I'll never let you get shut down, don't worry." I reassure him. We walk to Hank's car and Connor puts his arm around me, hugging me closer.