Chapter 20

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*Dark Theme

"Baby tell me what's wrong" Shawn pleads and I just keep shaking my head implying no while hot tears stream down my face.
"Tell me....is it me?" Shawn asks
"No of course it's not you....you're perfect...the perfect guy the perfect boyfriend...you're practically the only guy I feel safe around apart from Andrew and my dad " I state
"Who the fuck hurt you?!" Shawn exclaims but I don't reply. Shawn drags me to our room and unlocks it with the key card. He pulls me inside and locks the door.

"Tell me...it's just me and you....please" Shawn pleads clearly getting irritated
"Shawn I'm not hiding anything" I cry trying to hug him but he shoved me away causing me to stumble slightly.
"No, you are Y/N...I'm not dumb I can see your hiding something and if you can't tell me then I clearly need to rethink the trust between us" Shawn says getting progressively angrier
"No Shawn you can trust me!" I exclaim still crying
"Then FUCKING TELL ME WHAT IT IS!" Shawn yells in my face and I freeze in fear. My palms begin to sweat which never happens to me and my lips starts to quiver. Shawn moves back and starts to pace around the room.

"Shawn I'm sorry" I whisper
"JUST SHUT UP!" Shawn screams while veins pop out his forehead and his face a shade of red. He grabs me by my neck and presses me up against the wall
"I don't trust you anymore and you're gonna accept that...if you're gonna lie to me you might as well just go home" Shawn states while veins popped out his forehead even more.
"Shawn I'm not l-l-lyi" I try to say but Shawn squeezes my neck harder
"You are lying to me........but I fucking love you....you know that right?" He says right up to my face so that his breath tickled nose, I nod and he releases his grip from my neck. I start to sob again while the pain in my neck intensifies. I slide my back down the wall and sit on the floor while holding onto my neck.

1 minute later...

Shawn comes out of the bedroom and walks back towards me. His footsteps sounded quick and heavy so I abruptly shoot my head up and look up to see him coming my way.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I scream
"I'm sorry baby I-" I cut him off by pulling him towards me and kissing him on his lips. I don't know why I kissed him- he didn't deserve it....

I pull my lips off of his and start crying some more. I hit his chest with the palms of my hands over and over again.

I know it's not hurting him but I wish it did

I keep on going and going until I give up and he holds my cold hands firmly. "I'm so sorry....fuck...why did I- I......
I promise I'm not abusive...I really don't do this I-I don't know" Shawn hesitates
"I know the real you Shawn...I know you wouldn't do that on purpose...you need to relax I'll go take a bath. Come talk to me when you've calmed down." I whisper turning my back to Shawn and walking to the bathroom.

I regret every word I said...

Shawn's POV

Fuck, fuck,fuck....
Why did I put my hands on her -
Fuck I can't even say it in my head. Just
Breathe
In
And
Out

I walk into the bedroom and sit down on the bed. I run my hands through my hair and stare at the sun set slowly through the clear balcony doors. My mind goes through all the good times of Y/N and I. She's literally everything to me and I fucking hurt her. I could've made her pass out....she probably hates me and she probably thinks I'm a monster like all the guys she's told me about. She probably thinks I'm like that fucking cunt called Max.

After thinking about what I did for 20 mins.....

"I can't let her think of me like that" I whisper. I leave the bedroom and knock on the bathroom door.
"Y/N?" I ask
"Come in" She murmurs and I push open the door to see her sitting in the bath with her knees in her chest.

A/N
Nate Jacobs who??? Jk that's a dark joke...this isn't meant to be a joke it just gave me Euphoria vibes😂

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