2am... To say that I haven't been crying in my bed every night would be a total fucking lie. These past 2 weeks have just been so weird and have felt empty, of course Beth and Veronica have done very well to make me happy and help me through my mood swings but it's not the same. Ugh I'm trying to not think about him too much but when you've spent every single day with someone for almost 3 years and now they're gone it feels like they're never coming back.
I can't describe how I'm feeling but soon or later I need to get used to this. I need to stop stressing. I need to try and control myself....
Our communication via text and calls has been amazing but sometimes I text him forgetting he's busy rehearsing or performing......so I just sit there waiting for him to reply.
Incoming call from Shawn❤️
"Hey" Shawn says "You're still awake" I smile "You're smiling" He chuckles "How could you tell?" I ask "I could just tell" He replies and I roll my eyes "I know I ask this question all the time but how's tour been?" I giggle "Yh it's been amazing" He says "I-I've been thinking about you" He continues "Well I hoped so" I laugh "No I seriously have been Y/N...I miss your touch, your presence" He states "I miss everything too" I answer "Have you been eating well? They're still taking care of you right?" He panics "Now that's one question you always ask" I say "I'm ok dude" I smile
We spoke for another 2 hours before Shawn slept on call. His tiny little snores could be heard through his phone. All of a sudden, I hear a weird bang but I realise he's probably dropped his phone from his limp hand on to the floor.
Not unusual for him to do
"Sleep well" I say before ending the call
My phone is already overheating so there's no way I could've stayed on there for any longer.
I can do it. I can go several more weeks without him being here.
The next day... "Y/N" I hear Veronica whisper "Mmmm" I mumble "It's 3pm" She says and my eyes shoot open thus I realise she's wearing:
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Why do I keep fucking up my sleep schedule????
"Ugh" I moan sitting up but slowly starting to feel like the room is spinning. "I need to puke" I groan and she helps me out of bed. "Fuck I'm so sorry that you have to do this" I sigh "It's fine" She chuckles quickly helping me to the bathroom and opening the toilet. I sit down near it and my nausea all of a sudden disappears. "I-I think I'm ok" I stutter but by the look on her face she clearly didn't believe me. "You're literally sweating so much" She states
