Messed Up Love

32

I'm in office in between a meeting with client. But honestly I'm not even listening. My mind keep going back to last night. I told him I love him. I pushed him and now I have him a reason to come back. I don't want this. I don't want to hurt him again and more importantly, I'm engaged to Vibore. I can't cheat him. He trusts me so much and me going his back and kissing Rahul was not right. I feel like tearing apart again in between my love and my responsibilities. "HARSHITA?" I came out of my trance and looked up Both the client and Rohan we're looking at me questioningly. "Mm.. am sorry. I zoned out" "I know banks are lil boring but I really want you to interest in this campaign" the client joked "Ohh don't worry, we have taken all your requirements and promise to come up with the best possible creative ideas to come up with." "I don't doubt it, I have seen your work especially your latest with KL Rahul" and that's when my smile went down. This guy is not leaving me even in my professional life. But then I smiled again "Thank you so much for trusting us, we'll get back to you soon"

Rohan and I are out of the meeting and are in parking area. None of us spoke anything.
I was lost in my own thoughts and Rohan, he was staring me. We hooped in the car that's when he spoke "Harshita, are you okay? You know you can talk to me" I smiled
At him "I know I can" "then tell me what is it? I know it's related to Rahul" "I averted my gaze "I wasn't a part of your life when he was in it but even now I can see you love him. And even he does. So what happened?"
"He was my, actually he is my life Rohan. But he's not the only one. And the thing was to choose one life over other. My love for him will never fade but now he's back in my life. And I don't want him to get back. I don't want to hurt him again. I dont have the courage to do it again. But I guess God has other plans. He keeps putting both of us in situations that at I end up hurting him again and again" "Whats more important for you that you chose it over love?" "I'm from a really small town Rohan, I have made it so far but my roots are still there" "All I want to say is stop hurting yourself. I don't give a fuck about him but you're my best friend and I cant see you like that" I smiled at that and kissed him on cheeks .

My whole day went engrossed deep in his thoughts. And to get out of it I called Harry.
"Ohhh..you finally called me, I thought I'll be getting the call as soon as you left my place but it took you 18 hours to call" "shutup Harry, lets meet." "Okay, anyway I'm going to Rahul's place why don't you join me?" "Fuck you Harry" "I wish but then you are my best friends girl and obviously like my sister" "come meet me after meeting him" "aye aye captain" "you're crazy. And come to my place only. I'm leaving work and going home" "you live in one corner ofum ai he lives in other, main run dono ka post man hu ki idhar se idhar karta rahun" "aye aye postman" with that I disconnected the call. And soon after left for home.

At around 8 pm My door bell rang and as soon as I opened the gates I saw my bundle of happiness. Simba.
I kneel down and hugged him and then looked up to see grinning Hardik. "I knew he can help me alot in making you feel better." "You're the best Harry" "vo thik hai, pr abb Ander chale ya sab ko batana hai". I made him enter my place and sat down and started playing with my baby. "Baby, I missed you so much" Simba was licking my face while I was playing with him. "He was right." "What?" "Rahul asked me to take Simba with me. He knew I'm coming here." I smiled a little at that. " Simba was literally like a child for both of us and we always acted like his parents. I remember once house help took him for walk when a dog attacked him and we had to take him to the veterinary hospital. He was a bleeding mess while both of us were lossing our shit. It was Bhavna who took care of us and then we took care of Simba" "I know, I have seen you both act like a married couple with a 6 year old kid for an year or so." "What did he tell you?" "Nothing just cricket stuff, why? Is there something he should have told me?" "No, there isn't" "not even the fact that you told him you love him?" "So he did tell you?" "No he didn't. I asked him as well but he didn't. I heard you guys last night" "I don't know what life wants from me" "Harry you know I'm always there for you but when I see my best friend all hurt and broken, I feel like ending the life of the person who put him in this situation but then I can't because that person is my Sister" by now I was playing with Simba but the air around has become so thick. Hardik was serious, and why wouldn't he be? He's right. I have hurt Rahul alot. "I never wanted to be back in anyone of your lives. But God had another plan. I'm aware how much I have hurt eachone of you. And Rahul. I'm the reason he has become so cold. But I can't help it."
"Just tell us why you did what you did? We won't ask anything else. I promise" "I have my reasons Harry. Life threw me in a storm from which I can never come out" "you know I'm losing my patience with you? I thought maybe one-day you'll tell me the truth but now I can't see him hurt again." "Then you're wasting your time. I am sorry but I can't tell you. And I request you to choose your friend over a me. He needs you" Hardik was looking at me with so much of anger? Hurt? I just couldn't tell but I know it's right to push them back again. Last night I almost broke my wall but now I had to build it again. "It is so easy for you no. To leave us? Hurt us? Betray us?" I didn't say anything just listened to him, even Simba understood something wrong he just sat down keeping his head on my lap.
"You want to know what you have done? Rahul was devastated but are you aware of others condition? Bhavna just couldn't accept that her best friend, the girl she trusted the most has done this. Mayank, Aashita they saw both of you reaching where you were and mayank trusted you the most compared to any of Rahul's girlfriends, Sinan and Ronit they were there for you, wherever Rahul and you had an argument they always supported you and at the end you but him? Do you know how I felt? I just couldn't process it? I was there when Rahul found your letter, I didn't even get my time to get sad because I had to handle my best friend. But still I had a hope that there must have been a reason . But now I feel that you love hurting us"
I was on the verge of crying but I controlled myself because this is the point where I can push him back. And maybe for good. So I stood up. Simba . "Maybe you're right. I love hurting you guys. So it's better to stay away from me. If you want that then you can leave and never meet me again. And as you said it's way for me then I will be alright"
"Are you for real?" "Take simaba and leave. I need to sleep anyway. " The way Hardik was looking at me was breaking me. I was hurting the only one who still stood by me without knowing anything. He's like my brother but I had to do this.
He didn't say anything and took Simba and left.
I closed the door behind him and that's when I broke down. I just couldn't hold it anymore. I was crying mess, I was taking hiccups. I lost Hardik, again. And maybe this is for good.
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Wasn't going to upload it until Sunday, but the way Rahul played today I just couldn't control myself. So I worked on it and here it is.

Happy reading.