Downfall | ✔️

Chapter 52.

Amara's POV:

As I wake up, I find Mason still sound asleep, the light barely coming through the curtains—it's still early, really early. I rub my eyes, taking a deep breath and gently release myself from his grip, moving to the edge of the bed where I gather my bearings.

The ringing of my phone startles me as I fumble to answer, avoiding waking up Mason.

"Hello?" I answer quietly.

"Amara?" the voice on the other line is choked, pained, hard to hear, even. It makes my throat feel as though it's going to close up as soon as I recognise it, and in my gut—I know exactly the words which will follow.

"Yes?" my breath is already shaking.

"A-Amara," he sobs, I stand to my feet, anxiously waiting for him to speak.

"Its Carol, she was in labour and- she- Amara she's dead, she-"

"I'm so sorry-"

My hand falls to my side, the phone slipping through my fingers and clattering off of the wooden floor.

It happens in slow motion, everything falls silent—like white noise. I grip my chest, the air leaving my lungs; my whole body falling numb, and my knees giving way. I fall to the floor, my knees hitting the ground as I feel the gut wrenching pain overwhelm my lungs, my stomach, my chest, I can't breathe.

"Amara?"

I hear Mason's voice faintly, in the background as he wakes, his heavy footsteps hurtling towards me. He falls beside me, shaking me, I can hear him calling my name, distantly, quietly—but I can't respond; I can't move, I can't function, I can't breathe.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. This isn't real, Amara. Wake up.

I can't breathe.

I hadn't noticed I was crying, not until I looked at Mason's distorted image as he picked up my phone from the ground, pressing it to his ear. I watch as his eyes screw closed, and I watch as he looks at me with crippling sympathy; and that's when I knew, I wasn't dreaming.

Thats when I felt it, like someone had taken a knife and driven it straight through my soul, twisting it in my chest. I looked at Mason, and through my tears I could see his eyes were glassy, too. And that's what snapped me into reality. This is real. Though, I wish that I could've stayed in that realm of numbness just a little longer, before the unbearable pain hit me all at once, I was drowning in it. I'm suffocating.

"No." is all I can mutter, I repeat it over and over, shaking my head and gripping onto Mason's shirt. "No, no, no, no, no!" I begin to scream, scream in pain—it hurts too much to bare, I can't turn it off, I can't stop it, it hurts more than anything has ever hurt before, it's not just emotional pain, it's physical, my chest is aching, everything is closing in and my cries are screams at the top of my lungs, I can't stop it and I can't focus on anything but the insufferable torture in my head.

Mason has me on his lap, he's cradling me, and I can't bare it. I can't bare it. Why can't I breathe? I can't think, I can't breathe, I can't handle this pain.

I can't breathe.

I can see the fear in Mason's eyes as I scream and sob, my breathing is stunted and I'm almost positive I'm having a panic attack. All I can repeat is the same word over and over, no.

No, no, no.

Carol can't be dead, she can't be dead. What about the baby? How did she die? She can't be dead. Why didn't I ask? It's a joke, it's a sick joke. She can't be dead. She's my best friend, the only thing that's kept me going. She's my best friend. She wouldn't leave me alone. She can't be dead, she isn't dead.