Skulduggery Pleasant gets Facebook

Drunk bae

Skulduggery: What's a bae
Tanith: Before anyone else
Skulduggery: So like the most important person in the world to me
Tanith: Pretty much yeah
Skulduggery: So basically Valkyrie is my bae
Tanith: Skulduggery, do you like Valkyrie?
Skulduggery: Oh course I do. I'm am so deeply in love with her. Oh and her eyes. Please... her eyes... they are so amazing and flawless
Valkyrie: Guys... what's going on?
Ghastly: Skul here had far too many drink tonight. We went to a bar together
Valkyrie: You didn't invite me?
Skulduggery: I wish we had... then.... then we could've kissed under the full moon tonight
Tanith: Uh tonight wasn't even a full moon
Ghastly: See? He's just had too many drinks
Skulduggery: Believe me, my feeling for Valkyrie are always there... whether I'm sober... or not
Ghastly: Skulduggery, keep yourself together. I'm driving to your place now
Skulduggery: Valkyrie... I love you
Tanith: Ghastly what did you two talk about at the bar?
Ghastly: Uh nothing much. Just you know the usual...
Tanith: The usual what Ghastly? Please... if Skulduggery likes Valkyrie, I should know about it. She's my best friend Ghastly. And probably my only friend. So... does Skulduggery have a thing for Val?
Valkyrie: I'm right here you know...
Ghastly: Tanith... I can't tell you what we were talking about. Ask Skulduggery when he's sober
Skulduggery: You called? Sorry if you want to hit on me.. you see I'm already madly in love with Valkyrie Cain. I know it's wrong, I know she's too young and I know I shouldn't love her, but I do. And you can't change that.
Tanith: Ghastly...
Ghastly: Fine, before he got drunk he was confessing to me about how much he loves Valkyrie. He told me he wants to ask her out. He's too scared to though. He's too scared that Valkyrie will say no
Valkyrie: Uh guys please do this on private chat
Tanith: Well it's about you so you have every right to know
Valkyrie: All the same, Skulduggery is entitled to privacy
Skulduggery: Valkyrie Cain I am in love with you. Please be my girlfriend
Tanith: Uh how did he even drink anyway being a skeleton and all
Ghastly: He activated China's facade
Skulduggery: Valkyrie, I have always loved you. When you went out with Fletcher, I thought my heart was breaking
Fletcher: That was 10 years ago Skul. Val and I are friends now
Ghastly: Skul I'm almost at your place.
Tanith: Aw no more love confessions for Valkyrie
Skulduggery: Valkyrie, please, give us a chance
Valkyrie: Skulduggery, I'll talk to you once you're sober
Tanith: Aw Val!
Valkyrie: What?!
Tanith: You always tell me about how much you love Skul, now's your chance
Valkyrie: I'm not going to take advantage of him being drunk
Tanith: Just last week you were telling me how much you want to kiss him
Valkyrie: Ever heard of a secret Tanith?
Skulduggery: It's okay Valkyrie. I'm here for you. Always. You're my bae
Ghastly: Guys he's asleep now. And he's snoring
Tanith: He can snore?
Ghastly: I wish he couldn't

*The next day
Skulduggery: Ghastly Bespoke!!!
Ghastly: What
Skulduggery: Friends shouldn't let their friends text when they're drunk
Ghastly: Dude c'mon
Skulduggery: I didn't want her to know, not like this
Valkyrie: I'm right here you know?

Skulduggery Pleasant has deleted this post.