Skulduggery Pleasant gets Facebook

Merry Christmas!

A/N: I know Christmas is almost over (at least it is here in Australia) but I'd like to say Merry Christmas everyone!! I love you all. This chapter is set Christmas morning

Valkyrie: Merry Christmas guys!

Tanith: You too xx Merry Christmas!

Fletcher: Merry Christmas

Valkyrie: Anyone got anything planned?

Fletcher: Well actually I'm planning to teleport across the International Date Line so I can have two Christmases

Tanith: Fletcher!

Fletcher: What?

Tanith: Take me with you

Valkyrie: Please me too

Skulduggery: What's the deal with Christmas anyway?

Valkyrie: Oh damn he is in his logical mood. Skulduggery please try and enjoy the festive spirit

Skulduggery: I can't. I don't see what's festive about it

China: Do you want to come to the Christmas party tonight? It will get you in the Christmas spirit definitely

Skulduggery: Nah I'll pass. Anyway I have a couple criminals to catch

Valkyrie: What? Why didn't you tell me

Skulduggery: Because you were in the Christmas spirit

Valkyrie: Yeah well you should still tell me

Skulduggery: I bunch of guys kidnapped Santa last night and they're holding him captive

Valkyrie: Omg how can they find the heart to do that...

Skulduggery: If you want I'll catch him myself. You can just enjoy Christmas

Valkyrie: If it's all the same to you, I'll come. I can't let you sulk and be alone on Christmas day. And plus I need to get you a present

Skulduggery: Hmp ok then. Wait I was meant to get you a present

Valkyrie: What do you think Skulduggery? If I meet up with you and you don't have a present waiting I'm going to be annoyed

Skulduggery: Last year you said my presents were horrible and that you never want to exchange presents

Valkyrie: It was a figure of speech!! I didn't actually mean it

Skulduggery: Next time can you please let me know it's a figure of speech

Valkyrie: I cannot believe you forgot

Skulduggery: I bet I'm not the only one that forgot

Tanith: I got her something

Fletcher: Me too

China: Same here

Ghastly: I got you something that you'll love Val

Valkyrie: See? And more importantly I got you a present!

Skulduggery: How about you just keep the present you got me. Merry Christmas from me

Valkyrie: I can't. I can't use it. It was made for you. You better get me a present

Skulduggery: I've changed my mind. I won't meet up with you

Valkyrie: You can go catch the Christmas-ruining guys alone but you better get your present delivered

Skulduggery: Can I just give it to you tomorrow

Valkyrie: No! It's a Christmas gift not a Boxing Day gift

Skulduggery: Well I don't celebrate Christmas

Valkyrie: Well the rest of the world does!

Skulduggery: I'm kidding. I got a present for you like 3 weeks ago

Valkyrie: What is it?

Skulduggery: A secret

Valkyrie: It better be good

Skulduggery: Yeah it is. My undying gratitude towards you.

Valkyrie: Skulduggery...

Skulduggery: It is neatly packaged.

Valkyrie: ...

Skulduggery: Once again I'm kidding. I got you something. I know you'll love it

Valkyrie: Thank you

Skulduggery: So are you gonna help me stop these Santa kidnappers or not

Valkyrie: One question. If Santa doesn't exist. Who did they actually kidnap

Skulduggery: Gasp Santa doesn't exist

Valkyrie: Be serious

Skulduggery: I am serious. Always.

Valkyrie: Well then?

Skulduggery: I'm assuming they just kidnapped a person dressed as Santa

Valkyrie: That's not very holiday spirit of them. Let's go and teach them a lesson.