Skulduggery Pleasant gets Facebook

Vilequesse

A/N: It's weird. I don't ship Valduggery but I do ship Vilequesse (Lord Vile X Darquesse). This chapter is set before TDOTL and Valkyrie has been taken over by Darquesse and Skul has his armour on. I have no idea why Lord Vile or Darquesse would have facebook but anyway...

*Private Chat between Lord Vile and Darquesse
Lord Vile: Well look who it is

Darquesse: Don't try and flirt, I'm not Valkyrie, I'm not in love with Skulduggery.

Lord Vile: Oh so she is in love with the good part of me then

Darquesse: Haha I like your thinking. Skulduggery is your good part. He probably prefers it the other way, that you're his bad part.

Lord Vile: I am more powerful than Skulduggery Pleasant can ever be

Darquesse: I am Valkyrie Cain. Basically just with enhanced powers. She had the power to save the world but I have the power to destroy it

Lord Vile: I take it Valkyrie is still a voice in your head?

Darquesse: Barely. She knows I'm more powerful

Lord Vile: You should really consider getting rid of her. Then you can have full control

Darquesse: I need her for the full extent of my power.

Lord Vile: Still weak are we?

Darquesse: I don't have my full potential yet, but skeleton, I wouldn't mock me. I am still much stronger than you. I can easily grind your bones to dust.

Lord Vile: I don't deny your power. I am just curious as to when you can tame that voice in your head

Darquesse: What about you? Is the skeleton not controlling you? You are merely his armour after all.

Lord Vile: His armour? Is that what you think I am? I am more than Skulduggery. He is merely my vessel

Darquesse: You're forgetting you were made by Skulduggery's subconsciousness

Lord Vile: I was always there even before his death. It was just a matter of time.

Darquesse: You and I, we are basically the same are we not? All that is different is that Valkyrie Cain is and will always be more powerful than the Skeleton Detective.

Lord Vile: Look at us. Subconsciousnesses of the two most powerful sorcerers alive.

Darquesse: Please. There are many that can defeat Skulduggery. Possibly some of the Dead Men as well as a handful of individuals in the magic community

Lord Vile: Yet there are none that can defeat Lord Vile. I could ask you the same, plenty could easily destroy Valkyrie Cain. What will you do if she is killed before you can rise to power?

Darquesse: That won't happen. Valkyrie Cain will ALWAYS call me if she needs me. She knows I can make it better. She knows I can make all the pain go away and win any battle for her. She's selfish. She would rather leave the world to my mercy than die herself. When she needs me, she'll call me. Then my reign of terror will begin.

Lord Vile: It seems you have faith in Valkyrie.

Darquesse: I do, she's basically just my good mood. She's trying to gain control now.

Lord Vile: I get that you are now losing control.

Darquesse: Yes Valkyrie's almost in control again

Lord Vile: Well, if you ever need a partner to destroy the world with you, I'm up for it

Darquesse: Consider yourself recruited. Although I do warn you, I have a hatred for weaklings. If you ever become too weak for me, you will be destroyed along with the world

Lord Vile: I wouldn't have it any other way

Darquesse: Tell me one more thing before I go. To amuse me until Valkyrie needs help again. Does Skulduggery have a thing for Valkyrie?

Lord Vile: It's amusing really. He thinks he has a chance

Darquesse: Maybe he does? Valkyrie also has a thing for Skulduggery.

Lord Vile: Now, now we can't go around spilling secrets

Darquesse: Not like I can tell secrets to anyone but you. This will keep me entertained for a while. I will be back. Valkyrie will ask me to take control eventually.

Lord Vile: I'll be waiting. I might let Skulduggery be in control for a while just to see how things play out.

Darquesse: We will meet again

Lord Vile: Of course.

Darquesse has deleted this conversation.