39- Finally admitting to what I've done

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Fast Forward five months...

Makena's POV

"Hurry up Makena... I don't want to be late for this appointment. I really want to know what it is so I can start planning!" he says out loud as he waits just outside of the door. The last five months have been rather perfect, he has become a wonderful husband. He is very loving, never pushy, and always there when I need him. I have learned to count on him for everything, he has become my best friend. Plus, he ensures that I have everything that I and our growing baby need...

Yep, you read that right, we're pregnant. I am four months along, and today we have our big appointment. We are supposed to find out the gender of our baby, so Jesse is rather excited about it. He wants a boy so bad, while I couldn't care less about the gender... I just want a healthy, beautiful baby. "I'm sorry Jesse, I had to pee so bad!" I said as I walked out of the bathroom, we were on our way to the appointment when I had the immediate urge to pee. I had to find a bathroom immediately before I literally peed my pants. "I'm so sorry, this little one thought it would be funny to jump on my bladder."

"It's okay, let's get going." he says as we walk to the doctor's office together. He was so excited to become a father, so excited for this little one. I am too, don't get me wrong... I just feel that everything was moving way too fast. Charlie is still nowhere to be found, and I worry every day that she's going to pop up and grab me. She has threatened me three times since her father's arrest, even though I had nothing to do with the whole thing. It was all Jesse's doing, but in each instance, she never appeared. 

Sitting there waiting for the nurse to call us back, I felt a little flutter in my belly and corrected my posture. "Are you okay my love? What is wrong with your face?" he asks worriedly.

"I am fine Jesse... I just felt the baby move for the first time. How exciting is that?" I ask him with a million-watt smile on my face.

"Really?" he inquired excitedly, but I knew there was no way he could feel the baby moving on the outside of my belly yet. I looked up into his face, knowing that he is so happy to have me and this baby. I feel bad that I haven't been able to tell him the three words he longs to hear so badly. I know that he wants to hear me admit it, but I can't yet... not out loud anyway. I mean, I know I love him, I love this man who is father to my child, who has been so understanding and kind to me these past few months, the man I make sweet love to almost every night because he just can't seem to get enough of me. But I also can't so easily forget how all this happened, how he kidnapped me and forced me to stay with him. So I have decided not to say those three little words that just have so much significance to them.

I let out a small sigh as I felt another little shift. "I can't wait to feel your baby move as well, it's so amazing." Right then, the nurse comes back into the room and takes us to an ultrasound room. I felt so nervous as they had me lie down on one of their doctor beds. I wanted to know this information, but I was a little worried that it wouldn't be what he wanted.

I watch the nurse pull up the image on the monitor, "Congratulations Mom and Dad you have a perfectly healthy little boy!" When the nurse said that, I jumped up for joy right away and turned to look at Jesse.

"Oh my God... I knew it! It's a boy!" I send him a smile, and he started to pace back and forth as the nurse measured and monitored the baby. Sometimes, Jesse would smile at the monitor as he sent out text after text announcing his news.

"No wonder he's moving around so much!" I chuckle. He grabs my hand and holds it firmly.

"Yeah, look, he just kicked off with his tiny little foot there on the screen. He's my boy alright?" he says excitedly, and I smile as I watch the nurse measure and monitor the baby throughout the rest of the appointment. I felt a sharp stabbing pang of dread as we left the hospital hand-in-hand, seeing Charlie sitting near on a bench. I felt him get stiff when he too saw her, and he blocked me from harm, ever so protective now...

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