ever since your family was killed by a gang of outlaws, you've lived your life on the run. you had to learn to survive on your own and protect yourself.
never staying in one place for long lead you up into the Grizzlies where you got stuck in a snow...
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It had been a week since the fight happened between Molly and Dutch. You had seen them talk about what happened, but Molly moved out of their tent, telling you they were truly done.
You haven't talked to Dutch since. You knew Arthur told him about how watching him get that mad scared you, and he had tried to talk to you multiple times, but you kept avoiding him. You weren't sure what you wanted to do, but the truth is you missed him.
You missed the way he would smirk at you, and look deep into your eyes. The way he made you feel like the prettiest girl he's laid eyes on. You missed his smell, his touch, everything.
A lot has happened since the fight. Arthur has been working with both the Grays and the Braitwaits. Him, Sean, Bill, and Micah went into Rhodes earlier in the morning to talk to the Grays, but you didn't know much about it.
You stood up and walked over to get a bowl of stew. You sat at the table and looked around to see everyone doing there own thing in camp. You noticed Dutch sitting down on the dock by himself and reading. You finished the stew and stood up and sighed, you had to talk to him. You walked slowly down to the dock. You sat down next to him and looked out over the water.
"It's really beautiful here, I could stay forever." You said.
"You can do better than here." Dutch said, still looking at his book. It was silent after that. You weren't sure what to say.
"I'm sorry." Dutch said closing his book. You looked over to see him staring at the water. "I'm sorry I scared you y/n, I just got so angry that she did that in front of everyone."
"I'm sorry for avoiding you, I just wasn't sure what to say." You replied, also apologizing. After a few moments of silence, you spoke up again. "Do you want to go for a walk?" You asked. He nodded and stood up, holding his hand out to help you up. You slowly walked out of camp and along the shore line. Your hands would brush past each other ever so slightly, reminding you just how much you missed him. Once you were pretty far from camp, Dutch stopped and turned to face you.
"I mean it, I'm truly sorry. Molly and I are over. We talked and thought it would be best." He said.
"So what does that mean for us?" You asked him. He looked away and thought for a moment.
"Why do people have to know?" Dutch asked.
"Why can't they? Are you ashamed of me?" You snapped back.
"Never." Dutch said still looking at you.
"Then why are you so worried about people knowing? Do you think it will end like it did with Molly and you don't want to be embarrassed again?" You continued.
"I just don't want any drama between you two." He explained.
"So I have to keep my feelings a secret just so I don't upset Molly?" You said, a tear now falling from your eye. Dutch put his hand to your face to wipe the tear.
"Y/n. I just don't want people to look at you and say 'that's Dutch's girl'. I want them to look at you and say 'that's y/n' because you deserve that kind of respect. I love you and I want what's best for you." He said.
It became silent. You just stared at him for a moment. "What?" You whispered.
He cupped your face, looking into your eyes. "I love you y/n. I truly mean it."
You smiled. "I love you too." You whispered. It was true, you loved him. You had never felt this way about anyone before. Just being around him brought you so much joy. He was always in you thoughts, day or night. You didn't think you'd ever feel this way about someone, but here you were.
His face lit up at your words. He quickly pulled you into a kiss. The kiss wasn't his usual desire filled kiss, this was passionate, and full of love.
He pulled away and looked at you. "I promise we can tell people soon. Just let things fizzle out." Dutch said.
You nodded. You weren't sure how long you could go without telling people, but for now you were content.
He pulled you in for a kiss again. He trailed kisses down your neck, each time saying "I love you" when his lips left your skin. "I will never get tired of saying that." Dutch said as his eyes reconnected with yours.
"Let's head back." You said, taking his hand. His hand was much larger than yours. You felt safe as his fingers intertwined with yours.
The walk back was slow. Dutch explained everything that had been happening since you had been keeping to yourself and not really talking about things going on outside camp. Dutch explained how they were playing both sides in the Grey/Braithwaite drama, and everything would work out. As the lights from camp started to come into sight, you removed your hand from Dutch's. He looked down at you sympathetic, but you gave him a reassuring smile.
As you got closer, you could hear a loud commotion coming from inside camp. You looked at Dutch and raised an eyebrow.
"He can't be dead!" You heard a voice yell. You and Dutch shared a glance and started walking faster into camp. You walk in to see the girls huddled around Karen who was crying, and Arthur talking to Bill, Micah, and Hosea. Dutch quickly made his way over to the boys, you following close behind.
"What the hell is going on?" Dutch asked.
"Boss something bad happened while we were in Rhodes." Bill said.
"Just spit it out, what happened?" He asked.
"Sean got shot. He's dead." Micah blurted out.
"What." Dutch said shocked. You mouth fell open.
"It was a set up Dutch." Arthur said.
You looked over to Karen. "I'm gonna try and comfort her." You said before walking over to the girls. You knew there was nothing you could say or do, you just stayed, hoping it would bring some sort of comfort.
