Chapter 38

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*TRIGGER WARNING*

felix lay on the bathroom floor, his thighs covered in blood, the blade on the floor next to him, he didn't have the strength to call out loud enough, he could barely whisper out, his voice was cracked and hoarse.

"d-daddy!" he wheezed.

he looked up at his baby bear that was lay on the floor next to him, he whimpered to it as if it would help him.

"w-wa-nt da-ddy." he cried.

his thighs hurt, they stung and throbbed, his head hurt from crying, he thought it would relieve his pain, but it didn't.

changbin felt a horrible feeling stir in his stomach, he didn't know what it was, but something wasn't right.

"lix is taking too long, i don't like this." he bit his lip as the others looked at the bathroom door.

"im sure he's okay bin."

"no, something is wrong."

changbin got up and walked to the bathroom door.

"baby?"

felix weakly reached for the door, unable to get up.

"d-daddy!" he choked out, only just loud enough for changbin to hear.

changbin could hear that something was going on, he tried to open the door but it was locked.

"guys, help me now." changbin mumbled, trying to get the door open.

the others immediately jumped in but the door was locked.

"seungmin, go and get a staff who can open this fucking door."

seungmin and hyunjin ran for reception, felix was crying hard, he cuddled his bear into his chest, chanting quietly.

"daddy, daddy, d-daddy."

"baby boy, are you okay?" changbin called quickly, shaking the door handle.

"n-no!" he called out in reply, his voice cracking.

"can you open the door, my love?"

felix just cried harder, he regretted everything, he wanted his daddy.

seungmin returned with a young woman who held the hotel's master key, one that opened every single door in the building, she unlocked the bathroom door and changbin carelessly pushed her out of the way and ran in, gasping at felix.

"baby, what did you do?"

felix covered his face with his bear, his other hand reaching up at changbin. the older immediately knelt down, moving the blade up onto the countertop, pulling felix closer.

"hey, baby calm down, i'm here, why did you do this baby? i was right there if you didn't feel good."

"s-sorry so-rry sorry!" he whimpered, petrified of being punished.

jisung found an emergency first aid kit in the cupboard, opening it quickly.

"shh, it's okay little one, i'm not angry at you, but you know better than to hide things from me."

felix nodded, crying into changbin's chest, he had ruined everything.

the eldest of the group walked into the bathroom, sitting down next to changbin, surprising them, he lifted felix into his lap, holding him as he looked at a shocked changbin.

"you clean him up, he's safe here."

changbin nodded and felix looked up at his eldest hyung, scared he was in trouble.

"lix, you know that you don't just have changbin, right?"

felix looked down again, woojin pulled him close, rubbing his back comfortingly, he picked up his bear and put it in felix's arms.

"you have me, and channie, and minnie, and jinnie, and jiji, and seungie, and innie, we are all like your caregivers."

felix let out a shaky sigh, he looked up at all of his friends, not one of them looked mad at him.

"s-sorry."

"don't say sorry, you've beaten through so much, you're our little ass kicker." woojin smiled down at him.

felix smiled weakly, he rested his head on woojin's chest, he still stared intensely at changbin, making sure he wasn't going to go anywhere, woojin got a taste of what changbin dealt with when changbin used an antibacterial wipe to clean the cuts and felix yelped in pain and bit woojin's shoulder hard.

woojin winced and looked down at him.

"ahh! lix, lix look, scratch my arm when it hurts, you can scratch as hard as you want."

felix dug his nails into woojin's arm, changbin cleaned up all of felix's cuts, the dressed them, jisung helped clean the blood off the floor and woojin gently lifted felix into changbin's arms.

"thank you hyung." changbin said quietly, putting felix's head on his chest.

felix hugged his daddy and tried to calm down.

"hey, it's okay my boy, you're okay now."

the rest of the group left them in peace as changbin cradled felix.

"bear, do you have any idea how much i love you?"

felix didn't reply, he played with the arm of his bear, still sniffling.

"you mean so much to me, you're my world, i would do anything for you, and it hurts me to see you like this, because im trying so hard to help, i don't know how else to make this go away, i want to see you happy again and giggling, i hate to see you hurting like this, you deserve the world, you're so so so beautiful, i wish you could see yourself the way we do, because there is nothing and nobody more perfect than my bear, i want you to be able to look at yourself and see everything i love so much, this is all so hard for both of us, but im so glad that you're my little baby, i love taking care of you so much, when i get you in bed and ready for sleep and i get to feel you cuddle into me whilst we watch a movie, or when you're a little sad, and i cook your favourite, and the little smile on your face when you eat, do you know how rewarding that is? i love nothing more, you're such a perfect, special little boy, and your daddy loves you more than you can ever imagine."

felix was smiling and crying by the end of it, he looked up and hugged changbin tightly, only more determined now to fight this and get his daddy his happy little boy back.

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