Touch Starved Boys || My Hero Academia Imagines

No Idea (A Week Later)

Someone on my tumblr requested for a small sequel for No Idea, but to do a crack fic based on the implied tensions between Dabi and the reader, and then throw in the Dust Bunny ship. So. Here it is.  Get a laugh out of it if you can 🤣🤣 (Also no I'm sorry there's no Baku in this, just villain crackheadery)

"I'm not gonna leave you alone without backup, not after you almost died."

I sigh, rolling my shoulders as we walk down the street.  "If it wasn't Dabi, I would've been okay."  At least I'm recovered from that fight; no major injuries, just severe dehydration that I recovered by chugging two gallons of water every day for a few days afterward.

"Yeah, I heard your boyfriend was pretty scared.  He must care a lot about you."  Mirko cheekily smiles at me.

"Ah, maybe a little too much..."  Bakugou didn't allow me to train for at least two days after I was discharged from the hospital, even when I insisted I was fine.

"It's okay, I'll be here to protect you now, even on the off chance that we run into Dabi."  She flashes an overly-confident thumbs-up.

My mentor's confidence surges right through me.  "Yeah, what are the odds we'll run into him again so soon?"

Right as I look forward again, two hooded figures are stopped in front of us, one of them with obvious pale-blue hair in his face and the other with even more obvious piercings and staples lining the burnt half of his features.

Yeah, what are the fucking odds?

Just as I lift my hands up in a defensive position, Mirko slams her hands on my arms, "Chill out, (Y/n), they don't seem hostile today."

"Someone's just a bit too on edge after they almost died a week ago," Dabi smirks.

I clench my fists and try to rip my arm away from my mentor.  "Exactly, you asshat, you almost killed me!"

"Cool it, cool it!"

I turn on her.  "Shouldn't we be, I don't know, apprehending them?!"  Why aren't we doing anything?

Mirko shrugs.  "They're not doing anything, let's leave them alone for now."

"Yeah, we're not being particularly bad right now, sweetie."  Dabi's lips quirk up into a smug smirk.

I scowl at him before flitting my head back to the supposed pro hero in front of me and start waving my hands frantically.  WHY IS SHE SO CALM ABOUT THIS?!  "Sure, it's not like they're wanted criminal terrorists or anything-!"

"Anyway," the bunny hero completely disregards my protests and wraps an arm around my shoulder, "I couldn't help but notice that there's some unresolved tension between you and Burnt-Chicken over there, maybe you guys should work that out while I take on Handsy over there."

"What- No-"

Before I can offer anymore protest, Shigaraki runs away towards the back alley and Mirko follows him, leaving me alone with Dabi.  The minute he makes the smallest movement to look at me, my hands are up again.  "If you dare touch me-"

"Relax, kid, we're not here to start trouble," he drawls casually.  "This is just a conjugal visit."

I freeze in my position.  "What do you mean?"

"Wow, you're dense as usual," he rolls his eyes.  "Either that or you're still new."  He notices the confusion still plastered on my face and he sighs.  "Don't tell me you didn't notice how those two were eyeing each other intensely."

"I mean, I'd believe it, you guys are villains, Mirko-san probably wanted to stay wary abut you guys."  I relax into a standing position, but still carefully observing.

"Yeah, you're just dense."  Dabi rotates around towards the alley the pair just disappeared behind and crosses his arms.  "Those two are up to something, trust me."  He hums in thought as he slowly walks towards the alley and I follow close by.  "Let's see.  Ten bucks says they're fucking."

I gape at his insinuation.  "Twenty says they're fighting!  Mirko isn't like that."  How dare he think of my mentor like that.

"You don't know Handjob then, or your precious hero," he cackles.

I scoff, resisting the urge to choke him.  "Thirty says you'll shut the fuck up."

"Forty says you'll sleep with me."

I freeze up again, almost missing a step.  "I'd rather die than go back to you."

"That can be arranged."  One of his palms lights up with a small blue flame before it disappears.  "Just not today, I have a bet to win."

"You're gonna win, get over yourself."  I roll my eyes at him, finally turning the corner as the pair comes into view.  Mirko has Shigaraki pinned against the wall by his shoulders.  A well-satisfied smirk plasters on my face as I hold out my hand to Dabi.  "Pay up."

Next thing I know, she pushes his head into his.  At first, I think it's a headbutt maneuver.  Turns out, they're violently making out.

My jaw drops to the floor.  What. The.  FUCK?!

Dabi holds out his own hand.  "Told ya so."  He looks over when I don't respond, my eyes still peeled onto the horrific scene in front of me.  "Aw, you look so cute when you're humiliated like that."  His hand closes my chin.

Mirko hoists Shigaraki up by his scrawny legs and continues ravaging him.  "Oh fuck's sake!" I scream before escaping from the scene in disgusted panic.

Dabi cackles behind me, doubling over at the crisis I'm having.  "Now do you see how some of these 'heroes' are?  Don't be so surprised."

"Shut up, don't talk to me."  If only there was bleach for my eyes.

Mirko and Shigaraki stumble out of the alley, both of their hair disheveled and their clothes pulled around.  Some of Mirko's pale pink lipstick is smeared all over the boy's face and neck.  It's disgusting. 

"I'm outta here," I mumble to myself.

"I'll collect my twenty next time they wanna meet up, kid!"

"YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT!"

Mirko jogs up next to my fuming figure, hastily wiping the smeared makeup and saliva (gross) from her face.  "So-"

"Stay the hell away," I whirl on her and give her my deadliest glare before turning back on my heel.

"Aw, come on, villains are simps too-"

"I SAID STAY AWAY!"