Touch Starved Boys || My Hero Academia Imagines

~Nostalgia~ Todoroki X Reader

Wasn't expecting to post today, but in case you don't notice, I'm venting. And I need to let myself feel. And to do that, I write. And this came out pretty well I'd say. I'm only labeling it as Todoroki because that's the character I think fits, but it's ambiguous bc, of course, I'm venting. Enjoy my mess of feelings I guess?

The universe just has a way of fucking with you sometimes, reminding you of things you buried deep and haven't crossed your mind in years.

Scrolling through a dead social media platform isn't one of the first places I expected for nostalgia to hit me. My mindless flicking stopped when my eyes registered a self-cam of someone playing the piano, just their hands against a backlit window. The image looked like something one of my juniors filmed before, so I stopped, only to realize her hands look much larger and veiny.

My eyes widened when they glanced at the name of the poster. Oh.

A wave of bittersweet memories passed me through my mind. As the hands danced gracefully over the keys, a similarly somber melody singing forth from them, I couldn't help the heaviness in my chest. I haven't heard him play piano since freshman year of high school, I thought with a sad smile. That stupid music assignment.

He was the last person I expected to show up on my feed. He barely ever posts, sometimes I wonder if he's dead or real. Every once in a while, he would share something about the latest video game - scrolling down briefly showed that he did post about Animal Crossing when it came out - so seeing something out of the ordinary was a treat. It's good to know he's still alive, considering one of our classmates died a year ago.

I had to chuckle at his long nails. Must've forgotten to cut them again. His voice low and sheepish as he echoed the same words back to me in class is one of the brief memories I have of him. Another memory I always associate with him surfaced: me carefully plucking a speck of lint out of his hair only to ignore each other for the rest of the class period. I leaned my head against my wall, letting the music synchronize with my emotions. Some things never change. My heart warmed just slightly at the thought. I picture him still going through college as the quiet, self-isolated kid he was in high school, carrying a Switch in his bag just to play during his breaks.

My chest was still heavy as I closed my eyes just to listen. It's a shame, what could've been didn't happen. My crush on him went unnoticed by his dense disinterest in girls, only furthered by my excellent cover-up born out of my anxiety of him finding out. In the end, I let go of it. Who was I to bring him out of a shell he probably wasn't ready for? We were different, it wouldn't have worked out, I told myself.

If only I hadn't been such a coward, I reprimanded myself. Relationships remain a sensitive topic to me; a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of coming to terms with being single for the rest of my insignificant life. But I chose to push it away and let it be. I only hold a tinge of regret; I don't want to let the what-if's bother me, especially when there are too many of them to keep track of. I can only move on, rejecting the darkness that comes with it. He could've been a good boyfriend, much better than all the boys who's sexual harassment have come to light recently. I imagined him as the sensitive type to take the relationship slow, just to savor it and enjoy the passionate moments by ourselves away from everyone else's eyes.

Maybe in another timeline.

The song closes with just the high-pitched melody of his right hand. Part of me considers leaving a comment, but we weren't close like that even if we were partners for a few months.

It's okay, it's not like my life would drastically change if I did comment. I choose to just leave a Like. It was a pretty song, and it was good to know he's doing okay.