Touch Starved Boys || My Hero Academia Imagines

~Kiss of Death pt 2~ Todoroki x Reader

Hi I'm back :) Here's some angst as my returning post hehe. Trigger warning for mentions of death and bodies and stuff

Todoroki didn't know what kind of dream that was; it was too realistic for him to categorize it with his other dreams.  He even began to doubt that it even was just a figment of his imagination.  Normally, the images in his head would be too abstract and scattered to remember all the details; although still spotty and scattered, the images his mind had conjured up were too defined than anything he'd experienced before.  Even the kiss felt irresistibly real, and he wondered how his inexperienced mind conjured such a sweet taste.  In a way, he was disappointed that his mind dangled such an opportunity over his head teasingly.

"I have feelings for you."

As Todoroki opened his refrigerator to look for some breakfast, he frowned to himself.  The images held a strangely incomplete weight to it, something he can't put his finger on.  The entire scenario seemed like call to action in disguise for some unknown reason.  Perhaps this was his sign that he should seize the opportunity, take matters into his own hands, make his dream a reality.  The powers at be were giving him the green light; this was some divine signal that his confession would be reciprocated and he has nothing to fear.

His heart skipped a beat and his cheeks rushed with heat at the thought of his reality aligning with his inner fantasy, the memory of your soft lips ghosting over his.  It seemed too good to be true, but still somehow within his reach.

Fueled by this affirmative omen, he decided to pay you a visit after breakfast for a coffee date.

~

Todoroki pulled his scarf slightly looser as he entered your apartment building, his body temperature suddenly warmer.  Numerous times on the walk over did he have to remind himself of why he was here, the light that was mostly likely waiting for him at the end.  Picturing your smiling face and how precious you would be standing with him kept his feet moving.  If he didn't take advantage of this sudden flash of confidence today, he couldn't be confident that it would strike him again.

He called the elevator and took another calming breath.  The doors opened almost immediately and he stepped in.  In a daze, Todoroki pushed the button to your floor, his mind palace painting lovely images of you two going on casual dates strolling through the park, having fun at amusement parks, and cuddling under the stars.  He almost missed the desperate call of someone rushing towards him.

"Hold the door!"

He snapped out of his daze and pushed the open button right before the steel doors shut.  The breathless figure stumbled in, heaving for breath.  "Thank you- Oh, Todoroki."  The figure straightened up.

Todoroki bowed his head briefly in greeting.  "Good morning."  He recognized them as your close friend whom you talked fondly about often.

Their eyes flickered to the button for your floor that's already illuminated as the doors shut.  "Here to see (Y/n)?" they asked cheerily.

"Yes, just to visit," he responded vaguely.  "I haven't seen them in a while, I thought I would drop by."

"I'm sure they would appreciate that," the shorter friend smiled.  "Especially since they need help cleaning today, they would love the extra set of hands."  They checked their phone.  "I wonder what suddenly got into them that they decided to message me at almost 3 last night."

"Yeah, I came at 3 am to confess to you, I'm sorry."

His clock in his dream and your words flashed through his mind and he cocked an eyebrow to himself before shrugging it off as a strange coincidence.  In regard to your friend's words, he decided to rework his plan.  He didn't mind helping you clean your place.  It would make his request to take you out to coffee afterwards more natural as a job well done for cleaning.

The elevator opened on your floor.  "They must be sleeping still, they didn't answer my text."  The two of them approached your door and the friend knocked.  "(Y/n)!  Wakey wakey!  Your cleaning crew has arrived!"  Without waiting for an answer, they lifted the doormat to retrieve the spare key hiding under it, unlocking the door and bursting in.

As they announced their arrival, Todoroki closed the door behind him and removed his shoes and quietly took in your home.  He smiled to himself because the atmosphere and decorations remind him of you.

"(Y/n), come on!  Get up!"  Your friend quickly slipped off their shoes and coat, messily throwing them onto your couch before dashing straight to your room.

Todoroki hung back instead, opting to stroll around your living room instead.  It's not his first time here, but he didn't think you were close enough to enter your room so brazenly; he respected your privacy.  He occupied himself with rehearsing how he would confess his feelings to you.  He wanted to make it as earnest but smooth as possible.  Should he take your hand when he's done?  Should you be walking around or remain inside the coffee shop when he says his piece?  There were so many options, but he wanted to make that moment as perfect as possible because you deserved nothing less.

"Todoroki!  Come over here!"

The alarm in your friend's voice prompted him into action.  All his thoughts scattered into incoherent fear.  What in the world could've happened?  He didn't know.

Todoroki burst into the room and wildly surveyed the scene.  Your friend stood frozen over your bed where you lay, but something seemed off.  Why would you be sleeping over your sheets and blanket?

"I-I came to wake them up, they didn't respond to me calling them- When I went to shake them, they-they-"  They stepped back before knocking into the desk.

Todoroki's mind raced with a thousand thoughts, none of them pleasant.  A shaky hand hesitantly grazed the crook of your neck and his breath stalled.

You were cold.

He drew his hand back, refusing to believe any of this.  His world suddenly spun on its head.  How could you be-?

The rest of his dream echoed in his mind.

"I have to tell you something It can't wait until morning."

"I didn't want to leave without finally saying this to you."

He stumbled back a few steps as he remembered you suddenly vaulting off his balcony.

Your friend sank to the floor, clutching a paper and envelope, body wracked with a sudden onset of sobs as they cried your name.  "(Y/n)!  T-They're gone!"

The pieces finally click together, Todoroki's body grows cold.  Last night was no dream, it was your final goodbye to him.

That was your goodbye kiss to him.

It was his turn to fall to the floor, shudders wracking his body as his throat threatened to close because of the sobs welling up inside him.  The sweet kiss he savored only a minute before suddenly tasted bitter, the future he'd built up for you two ripped away from him.  Todoroki fell apart to the feeling of guilt, regret, anger, misery, distress, and so many other ineffable emotions.  Various self-loathing what-if's and if-only's consumed him.

Todoroki couldn't bear to see your face; even if he wanted to, his body shuddered too much to move and his tears blinded him.  His heartbeat nearly deafened him as your friend read your note aloud as their voice broke and wailed.  He felt cheated by fate.  He refused to believe this was when you were meant to depart, not when he'd experienced just a few seconds of the bliss of you two being together, regretting that he hadn't acted on his feelings sooner and stupidly believed he was sleeping during your final moment together.

Never again would he indulge in your cheerful expressions, your endearing mannerisms, your sweet voice.  You now only lived in his memories and in his dreams, as you'd never live in his reality anymore.