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J U N G K O O K
"I brought lilies this time, I figured a change can be nice."
Namjoon, Jaesok and I nodded in agreement as my father placed the wrapped flowers on Mom's grave. After that, we all remained silent. It was still early in the morning, so we were pretty much alone in the cemetery.
Soon, Namjoon's father left-he had to fly back home and take care of his company. Kim Jaesok lived in Ilsan since the death of his ex-wife-my mother-three years ago. For his son's sake, he agreed to let him live with Dad and I so that he wouldn't have to change school nor lose our friends-well, more like his . Thanks to that wise decision, I grew closer to my step-brother over the last years; finding the comfort I needed after we had both lost our mother.
"Take care Joonie, alright?" The bald man pulled his son into a warm embrace, holding back his tears.
Namjoon nodded reassuringly in his direction. I witnessed the scene in utter silence, unwilling to spoil their precious yet rare father and son moment. It was only five minutes later that Jaesok eventually left after hugging both Dad and I.
I missed Mom. She was a kind and considerate person all her life, making sure to put others' happiness first. The only time she actually thought about her own was shortly before her divorce with Jaesok. They weren't in love anymore, mostly because the businessman was rarely at home. It was only Namjoon and her, which explained why she obtained his custody. Less than a year following the divorce, she met my father and it was love at first sight-his words.
A few months later, I was born. Mom and Dad raised Namjoon and I the same way, allowing us to feel like a true family. From time to time, Jaesok would visit and stay at home to spend some time with his son; even with me.
"Want to skip school today?" Dad asked both Namjoon and I as soon as we got in the car
My brother shook his head no. "I can't, I have a meeting to attend with the council."
"You'll be okay?"
He addressed a reassuring smile in my father's direction. I envied him. Despite the pain, he was able to keep a straight face and go on with life. I, on the other hand, was still plunged in the grieving process. I missed Mom like crazy, and it was hard to imagine a future without having her by my side.
Three years later, I still spent endless nights crying as memories of her flowed through my mind.
"What about you, Jungkook?"
Looking out the window, I sighed. "I'll skip school."
❁ ✾ ❃ ❋
Around six o'clock, I woke up after a well-deserved nap. Dad was still at work, and Namjoon would come home in an hour or so. Craving for some instant noodles, I left home and made my way to the closest convenience store; which was ten minutes away.
In no time, I reached the store and wandered in the different sections to make sure I'd buy whatever I needed.
"Jungkook?"
The familiar voice urged me to turn around, which I did right away.
The (h/c)-haired girl who stood before me had her brows furrowed as she eyed me in shock from head to toe, as if she had seen a ghost.
"What are you doing here?" she asked "Are you sick?"
To be honest, I did not want to lie. There was no use in lying since Y/n would end up knowing what today meant to me, one way or another. But telling the truth in the middle of a convenience store? No can do.
Strangely, bumping into her seemed like a fortunate incident. After spending a day at home all alone; I needed to vent.
"Do you have to go home?" I asked, but regretted my words as soon as her (e/c) eyes studied me "What?"
She shrugged, and a small smile crept up her face.
"What do you have in mind?"
Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting in an empty park. I opened the can of soda I had just bought while Y/n kept on staring at me, quietly waiting. At some point, I was growing annoyed.
"Can you not look at me?"
The girl chuckled, but as I wished; she looked away. "Sorry. So, why did you skip school today? Sol was lost without you-that's what she said." an amused smile drew itself on her lips "Are you sick?"
This time, I actually took the time to answer her question in all honesty. "I'm not. It's my mother's death anniversary." I noticed a glimpse of surprise in her eyes. "It's been three years. I didn't feel like going to school."
She nodded. "Of course."
For a moment, we stayed silent. By the way her hands were shaking on her thighs and her eyes would look anywhere but in my direction, I could tell she was nervous.
"What?" I broke the silence.
Obviously taken aback, the girl jumped on her side of the bench. With a sigh, I urged her to answer.
Finally, she cleared her throat. "I don't know what to say... Are you okay?"
I broke into a rather irritated laughter. I did not blame her, but I felt stupid for planning to share my thoughts with someone who couldn't comprehend my feelings. Damn, that girl was turning me into one big softie!
"No need to be unpleasant." she finally said, clicking her tongue
With a heavy sigh, I addressed her an apologetic look when she turned her face towards mine.
"Sorry." I mumbled "I wanted to be alone. My father is working, and Namjoon went to school."
Y/n had calmed down. "So... do you want to talk about it, or are you expecting me to cheer you up?"
For some reason, her words brought a smile on my face. I didn't care anymore if she'd understand my feelings or not, I just wanted to talk to my friend.
"How about you do both?"
In the end, I shared a few memories of my mother with her. Some anecdotes led her to talk about hers. Y/n's mother sounded like a nice and supportive woman, and I couldn't help but envy her.
Mom was gone, but I would never forget her. The massive place she held in my heart remained intact, and I ought to keep it that way. In spite of her absence, I managed to find happiness and surround myself with precious friends such as Y/n. I realized there was no use in pushing her back, especially now that I needed her.
You don't have to worry about me anymore, Mom. I love you, and I miss you; but I'll keep on living and grow into a man you can be proud of.
