The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Game of Realms ☆ DNA.

Author: CallmeBethel

Reviewer: _DNA_732

Chapters reviewed: 5

1 . YOUR COVER:
Your cover was quite nice. The picture in the background along with the font you used for the title provided a nice aesthetic appeal. It actually made me want to read the book. Consider that a win!

2. YOUR BLURB:
Your blurb was excellent. Your story plot was obviously something new, and it deals with worlds that most writers haven't dealt with before. Therefore, it's only natural if readers get confused with the blurb in the beginning.

Your blurb didn't have that problem.

It was clear and to the point right from beginning to end. I didn't have to read it twice to capture the meaning, or look anything up to make better sense of it. You've explained everything that's happening in the story without leaving room for any doubt.

However, I spotted a typo in your blurb. "Beginning" was written as "beigning". That wouldn't sit well with readers who get annoyed with grammatical errors. I'll tell you more on it in the next few points.

3. YOUR WRITING STYLE:
You are really good at explaining your plot, and keeping your readers curious for more. I liked how you switched between every character's POVs. It wasn't abrupt, and didn't interrupt the flow of the story in any manner.

But I would like to remind you that a story isn't all about explanation. Try to insert a little more dialogue into your writing. It makes the story more lively, which in turn makes it more enjoyable for readers. Without it, the story seems a little, silent, I guess. Everything just stays in the character's head.

For instance, in the fifth chapter, from Asteria's POV, you could've shown how Lilith obtained the sword through some dialogue. You could've also shown Angel Gabriel's thoughts when he was being manipulated into turning against God by Lucifer.

4. GRAMMATICAL ERRORS/TYPOS:
You have a lot of typos and it's scattered throughout the book, including your blurb. You might be waiting till the end of your book to completely edit it, but having typos will only show that you're unprofessional. Not to mention the grammar nazis that will be after you.

We definitely don't want that, therefore, I'd suggest doing a complete revision of your book to edit your typos. And in the future, it would be better if you could read through your chapter once or twice, before publishing it.

5. PLOT DEVELOPMENT:
I want to keep this to myself, but I have to say it.

Have you read Dan Brown's books? Most of his novels are centred around topics that could be quite controversial in the real world, like the Illuminati, for instance, but even then, his books are global bestsellers, as they consider it to be a work of fiction, even though they are very real.

Just like his plots, your story plot could be an explosive topic if talked about in the real world, even though everything you've revealed in the plot are actual mythological facts. But you've made use of it in such a way that people wouldn't mind reading about it. Good job there!

Also, I couldn't find a single plot hole, anywhere in the chapters that I had read. Basically, you're a master at plot development.

6. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
I've just begun to read about Daniel and Asteria, so I cannot tell you much on how they've developed. But I can say that you've given them a good beginning.

Asteria's character arc could be developed in the beginning, by including some more dialogues between her and other characters.

Daniel, on the other hand, has a great beginning, I've already developed a liking for the character through a single chapter, which is nice.

The rest of the characters, like Lucifer, Lilith and the other angels, look promising, and I'm quite sure that they can turn out great too. It all depends on you.

FINAL IMPRESSION:
Though I didn't know if you could pull it off in the beginning, you've done a good job at making the beginning innovative and have left your readers curious for more! Keep writing and you'll do a great job!

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