The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Living Life Before I Die ☆ Shraelyn

Author : ImiBunny. (Person no longer active)

Reviewer : Shraelyn

Chapters Reviwed : 6 (excluding disclaimer)

Your Book Cover

Let's get things straight. The Wattpad community is home for millions of reader. And no matter how sad it makes us, 2/3 of them won't give a book second glance if the cover isn't eye catching. And that's what happened with yours.

I get it that you wanted to convey a little of your plot through your cover. And that's why you got a picture of a girl with gun strapped to her back. But it all comes down to the same thing. It wasn't eye catching. The font was simple, the background didn't speak with the readers.

If your genre is mystery, thriller and a little around romance and humor, I get that it's a lot of work.

I suggest you work on your cover. Even better there are Cover shops willing to help you for free, try those.

Your Book Title/Name

Must say your book name does interest the reader but it wasn't anything creative or imaginative. It really was plain simple. If you come up with a good book name and pair it with a rocking cover, your book is gonna rock.

Really you need to work on the name because seriously, we get from the blurb that she is gonna die. So naming it Living Life Before I die is simple.

Your blurb also mentions that there is danger and mystery. So I say try to name your book around that. Be more creative.

Your Blurb

Your blurb was good. It intrigues the reader from the start.

Oh man, she's gonna die in 6 months and to top that off there is an unknown danger waiting for her in LA? Goodie good, I want to know what happens!

Yep totally intriguing. But a little more shaping and carving would make it perfect.

Plot

Your plot idea is really good. As I said in the blurb. She is gonna die and then there is the mystery of danger in LA and her feelings for someone she can't have. Good. Really good.

Your first chapter impresses the reader so much. The way you shaped the dialogues and sentence formation.

But...isn't there always a but? It just goes down from there. You are the writer. Your work is to twist the reader's emotion and leave them a crying mess. Of course, it's not supposed to be that case for every book. But here in your book? Your main character is dying, for crying out loud!!!

I should have felt the emotion. Alas, it was missing after the first chapter. I get it if she is calm about her dying. There is always someone calm and sensible in situations like this. But when you just close all the mourning of losing your daughter and best friend only with a few tears? It's just not done.

Make the others worry, damn it! Atleast if not on the surface then in the back of their mind, make them hover; lurk in the background. She is going to die, for chrissake! But the writing made me feel like she was going on a 15 day tour.

Please, please work on your emotional writing.

(Quick tip: Read books like 5 feet apart, the fault in our stars, if I fall, etc.)

But there were things that I loved. For instance you focused on something that many writers think is a nuisance. You worked on the small details.

Wheather it be what Emma or her friends wore. Or how Lia is protective of her or what colour Trey's eyes are or how you didn't left out the topic of their video.
Good job. Readers love small details. Just work more on your description.

Characterisation

I am gonna make this short because if your plot doesn't convey the emotions it means the readers don't feel anything about your characters. I felt like all your characters were the same. It was like differentiating between Red and Crimson.

Make the readers fall in love with yours characters. Make them hate them or love to hate them. Make them...make them feel something. And the something will be missing as long as they are all the same and didn't convey emotions.

Grammar and Typos

Good work with editing. I could only find one mistake. Probably. Which you spelled Probally. You made the same mistake thrice. Other than that there were no typos.

But you were messing up the tenses quite a few times. Never do that. It's annoying.

And I think you were mixing up all the puctuations. Only a few of them were in the right places. I made comments a few times but I cannot always do that every 5th sentence. Please make sure to correct it.

And as I said in the plot work on your descriptions.

Other than that good work with writing and keep your train going.

(If you found anything offensive or thought that I was wrong, remember this review comes from honesty and there isn't one bit I lied about.)

XOXO

Shravani.