The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Facade ☆ Shraelyn

Author: kim_chi_2013

Reviewer: Shraelyn

Chapters reviewed: 5 (excluding intro and casting)

Your Cover

Your cover was quite good. It resonated with your blurb and the way you gave them the little teaser line at the top makes the reader want to know more about the book. The font and background setting and everything fit really well your book name.

Your Book Title/Name

I personally think that the name you gave your book the name really resonated with the MC's personal life. Facade was a really good name for your book. It tells how Ying was living under a shell and wasn't his true self.

Your blurb

I must say that it was a really brave move on your part to put an excerpt as a blurb. Yes, it was a good excerpt and told us many things like how both of they come around and start a relationship. It also tells us how they want it to be a secret. So, many readers would explore your book to know what happens when this forbidden relationship is finally out in the open.

However, it was a really short blurb and it doesn't give the reader the reason of why they should choose your story to read from millions of other ones. I highly advice for you to upgrade it and give the readers a little sneak peek of the climax.

Leave them wanting for more.

And your blurb simply doesn't do it for readers.

(Check out the blurbs of other books in your genre.)

Plot

The plot was good. From the first chapter it tells us about both of their personal lives and familial problems.

Also it gave us some idea of what obstacles would come in their relationship. And that's a lot to know just from a few chapters.

The mystery you made about Ying's family was good. Why would it get him killed if his diary was found? What is so wrong about having a crush on Zaren?

But, few I would suggest:

Speed up the plotline: Don't worry it wasn't slow but there weren't many exciting events happening. Sad but true readers always want a climax and something exiciting happening in the book. Normal just bores them and gives them a reason not to continue.

Give them a little details: As a writer I know it gets frustrating when you have to remember each small detail. But readers want that. Afterall, the smalls things are what matters right?

Characteristion

Your characterisation was really good.

In a few chapters we could tell that Ying was really shy while Zhan was quite the opposite. Hao would stand beside Zhan no matter what. How Xian is really insecure and afraid. Though, I suggest give the readers some more of Zhan's mom and brother.

Grammar and Typos

I couldn't find any spelling mistakes or grammatical ones. Really good job at editing.

You need to improvise your narrative tense, though. Keep it either past or present. Don't switch. It gets annoying. And improvise your capitalisation.

You don't capitalise your letters of the first word of the sentence. I noticed it almost in every chapter. That's not good. Not at all. Capitalisation and punctuation marks tells us how you pay attention to all the little details.

Overall it's a good read, but rememeber in an site of millions of books you no one wants a good read. They want great.

XOXO

Shravani.