The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

The Thrilling Adventures Of Max Ryder - Volume 1 ☆ Shraelyn

Author : CallmeBethel

Reviewer : Shraelyn

Chapters reviewed: 4 (excluding A/N and prologue)

Your Cover

In all honesty, your cover was no where near attractive. But when I looked at the cover I did see all the effort you put in designing it. Truthfully there was nothing wrong with the Font or the way you presented it. Instead the font and presentation were the bright points of your cover. The background was what brought the downfall of your cover. It was dull and really not attractive. So please work on your cover. If you ask me, the theme of your book demands a cover where an 11 year old Max Ryder in lurking in the shadows with binoculars or is with Axel and Kate and the three are running somewhere. It will really reflect on your book.

Your Title

Your title is a mouthful but there is nothing that I can complain about because it suits your book so well. Good work with that.

Your Blurb

Nuh-uh. Not done. Those were the first words that came to my mind when I read your blurb. Come on, you know that the cover, the book name and the blurb are the checkmarks that a reader ticks off before they decide whether to read a book or not. And your blurb simply doesn't do it. It had it's good point where you tell us that he comes from a long line of dectectives and that there is a mystery in his hostel.

But then right as the reader is getting into the story you change the voice and tell us your plans with how you are going to make it an 8 volume series. Like while reading, I simply couldn't tell when it was Max's story and when it was you speaking.

Please change your blurb to something that tells us about Max and his adventures and some sort of climax. And then in the end of it add in short words your plan about the series.

Plot

Plot was good. Original idea, characters, places and way of writing. Good work with framing the plot and everything.

But some time it was just unnecessary blabbering and juvenile tellings. Yes I understand that the story is told from the perspective of an 11 year old but not all readers understand that and not all of them would like reading an 11 year babbling.

Have you read the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series? It is also told from the POV of a 12 year old but doesn't involve unncessary babbling.

Grammer and Typos

Usually after writing about the plot, characterisation is next on my list. But for your book I chose Grammar and Typos because it is more important for your book.

While reading I noticed you eat up words like articles and then, that. It is not good. It messes up with the way a reader has been indulged in the book.

Speaking of indulging the reader into the book, even with a good plot you won't be able to indulge them if you write every chapter like a documentary. You need to make paragraphs, write dialogues in another sentence; not cram them all in one measly paragraph. It literally screams bad presentation which means you are putting enough efforts in your writing. Change that.

Other than that I didn't find any grammar and typos except when you mess up the punctuations.

(Notice how I changed paragraphs when one point ended and another started.)

Characterisation

Good job with characterisation. In just reading a few chapters we can tell if Max, Axel, Kate would do this or not. We can know beforehand what their decision would be. Great job!!

I hope you found the review helpful and would make the necessary changes. If you found any of it offensive or couldn't relate with it, please know it was an honest review.

XOXO

Shravani