The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Elements ☆ DNA

Author: Y-O-U-N-G-W-O-M-A-N

Reviewer: _DNA_732

Chapters reviewed: 5

FIRST IMPRESSION:
This was one of the few times I was actually trying out a fanfiction, and that too for a fandom that I had no idea about. Therefore, I think it's safe to say that I was a bit skeptical of what the story could be about. 😁

1.YOUR COVER:
Your cover is quite good. Even though it's essentially a BTS poster, when combined with the title, it could actually pass off for a published book, or even a movie. Aesthetic appeal is 10/10!

2. YOUR BLURB:
Though your blurb does contain about five to six sentences, most of them are just dialogues between the characters. So, technically speaking, I could say that you only have one sentence that actually gives readers any information about the story. So I suggest you work on that.

Try adding more sentences on what Elementa is, who the seven Queens are, what their powers are, and stuff like that.

The purpose of a blurb is to make your readers aware of the World they're going to read about. If you don't tell them about it, they're going to be rather confused when reading it.

3. YOUR WRITING STYLE:
Your writing style is pretty good, you've got a basic idea of how to get the attention of the reader, and can keep them hooked on to the story too.

However, you do need to work on writing more descriptively. And the best way to do this is by improving your vocabulary. When you have a good knowledge of words, you would know exactly how to use them in your writing.

A good friend of mine on Wattpad once told me of a way to do this: select any six words from your dictionary at random, and try to write a paragraph on anything using those six words. Try doing this daily, and it might help you.

4. GRAMMATICAL ERRORS/TYPOS: When I read through your chapters, there weren't many typos. On the other hand, I spotted plenty of grammatical errors sprinkled here and there.

In many places, you've put a comma after closing the quotation marks in a dialogue. For instance, "Now bye, I'm late", should actually be written as, "Now bye, I'm late,". Get the difference?

Also, it would be great if you could use the actual words instead of short forms. "You" can be written in place of "u", "And" can be written in place of "n," and so on. See what I did there?

To change this, you need to up your editing game, or if you can't do that, I think there are many edit shops on Wattpad that would help you with that.

5. PLOT DEVELOPMENT:
Point number one, your fanfiction is not like other fanfics! Instead of being centred around the cliché, romantic fanfics, you've opted for a rather different idea. If it weren't for the fact that it was fanfiction, I would've seen your story as an original Fantasy novel.

I couldn't spot any plot holes, so I think you're good there. I also like the fact that your plot is moving along at a nice pace. It's not too slow or fast. So, keep that going.

6. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
There are many characters in the story, but you've given them all a chance to introduce themselves in the story. However, other than their names, we don't know much about Sunni, Luna or Kamilah. I would suggest providing them a little more depth, but since I've only read the beginning of the story, I don't know if you have developed them in the later chapters.

But somehow, you've done a good job at the character development of the band members, especially Jin, who had a chapter with his own POV. I don't know much about the band itself, except their names, but by the time I was done reading, I knew more about their behaviour by the manner in which they revealed their habits and the like. So good job there!

FINAL IMPRESSION:
Where I was expecting a typical fanfic, I saw a fanfiction that had the potential to pass off as a good fantasy book. You have a lot of changes to make, but once you're done with that, you can make this a good novel.

If you have any suggestions to improve my reviews, feel free to PM me in my account. Don't forget to follow TheOfficialFamily for further updates!