The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Need A Friend ☆ Carrots

Author: zmswift

Reviewer: __Carrots__

Chapters reviewed: Five

o First Impressions:

Blurb wise:

I like your blurb. It gives us the information we need at the same time as eludes us from certain details so that we are drawn to know more about what's happening.

I love the first sentence. "At age 26, Lavender doesn't have anything she wants." It's great!

Just a tip, always spell out numbers. One digit numbers to three digit numbers always look better spelled out.

One Thousand flies were hovering in the air.

1000 flies were hovering in the air.

Which one looks better?

The first one? : )

The second paragraph starts with a "but", now "buts" are never good sentence appetizers.

Blurbs give insight to the story, "buts" turn these insights into a piece of grumbling.

I have given a detailed explanation of this is the review of the book "The Land Of Ruined Hopes", you can scroll through the content list of this review book, locate that particular chapter and refer to it.

The third and the last paragraph has a very professional touch to it. I love how you used the term "comical turn", it's a great and a refreshing change from the usual "drastic turn", so good job!

Cover wise:

That is a very very artistic cover!

I loved that cover.

Now, the tagline. First of all, the font of that tagline is simply too small and bland to be noticed. So work on the font.

Though, more importantly your story title and tagline should correlate with each other.

Your story title is "Need A Friend" whereas the tagline is "Because all she got are assholes"

The title is in first person, where as the tagline is in third person.

Now I know this gets confusing. So here's a tip; get rid of the "Because", let it just be "All she got are assholes".

Overall, that's a very interesting cover. Not just that one but all the others too that you inserted in your book chapters.

You are really good with cover making.

Title wise:

It's a good title. It gives us an idea about what this book is about so it's a nice one.

Nice.

It could definitely be better though. I hit in "Need A Friend" in the Wattpad search bar and there were about dozens and dozens and dozens of book suggestions.

The catch here being that the majority of the books didn't fall in your book's category at all. They were either non fictions or fan fictions, most having no book covers or descriptions not even much reads.

Soo yes, the name is nice but misleading.

Come up with a more creative name, your main character has such a beautiful name, Lavender. Try bringing up her name in the book title. 😉

o Storyline/ Plot:

The storyline is based upon how Lavender tries to to grow up and discover what the meaning of friends is. It is for her to understand that she is being used.

A lot of stories have friendship as the main theme of their story line and plot.

But as long as you avoid the standard clichés you are good to go.

It's a nice theme. Just make sure to not deviate from your ending goal.

o Character Development:

You are gradually working your way out in giving us little details about the characters. Their personalities, their likes and their fears.

The character development is subtle but present. We can see the characters being enhanced with every chapter. So that's good.

Obviously with more reading and more writing you will get better at this.

o Grammatical errors and Typos:

There are a noticeable amount of grammatical errors as well typos. Edit your work and that will be done.

Other than that, your grammar is decent. You are well aware of the grammar rules yet fail to execute them sometimes. So keep that in mind when you write, don't forget your grammar.

I have mentioned the ellipses rule in your chapters, so check that out. You need to be well aware of how to use the ellipses (...).

Poor grammar in a book always puts off a reader, so be attentively about this.

o Writing Style:

I feel you need to work on this. Yes, every writers have their own styles.

Although, I feel you are yet to discover your own style. A lot of concepts and ideas in your book were the kind that one often finds in loads of books. So yes, that's getting a bit mainstream.

About how they go to the party and drunk Kevin shows up, and about how they go to shopping and buy a dozen clothes together, and how Jer decides to pay for all of it.

Refine your own writing. Don't try to include ideas in your book that you have already read a thousand times in other books, because then your books gets lost in an abyss of thousand similar concepts.

_________

So, that's it. That's my review.

If there are any further questions and suggestions please comment.

If you think that some parts of the review didn't stand up to your expectations, and also that you found it confusing, please let me know.

♡