The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Amnesia ☆ Agni

Author: xxCalloftheWildxx

Reviewer:

First impression:

Cover: Not very impressive. It hides your story. Try using a cover shop. Preferably the one listed on our reading list because she does fast deliveries! Your cover is too commonplace. Please do change it.

Blurb: You did an amazing job on the blurb. It piqued my interest. Now i really wanna know about his attempted murder. Nice job adding the quote at the end. You have a really cool aesthetic kind of style till now.

Title: Apt. I can't really say anything else.

[So your chapters have names on them, but you do not include them as the title of that chapter. Is there a specific reason why? I recommend doing it, if there isn't a specific reason, cos a good chapter name encourages the reader to immediately click on your update and read and your chapter names are really good. But it's your choice.]

First chapter:

Okay. *deep breath* How are you this good? Everything was absolutely perfect. The flow, the grammar, the writing style, the metaphors. Damn. Damn. Dayum!!! Interest definitely piqued. The only place where I kinda low key had an issue with was when the doctor asked what transpired before he reached the hospital. Doctors rarely use such complicated and higher-order language, especially to a patient they suspect have some kind of brain damage.

Everything else... Great sense of place. Emotions. His thoughts. Perfect balance. A great start. I might have to look very hard to provide a critique.

Grammar: You are the literal Messiah of grammar. No complaints keep going.

Writing style:

You see, you tend to focus on the details a little too much. While for this book it is indeed apt. It might not work for every book, just keep that in mind.

Your metaphors and analogies, your adverbs truly intrigue me. It tells me more about Colton.

The story however has a really slow pace. You don't need to make it faster, this pace is really good. But it makes it too early for me to say a lot about your style. There are a few times when I had to go back and read because I was confused with regards to the plot. For instance, I was a bit confused as to who Colton was marrying.

Characterization:

Your protagonist is a well-rounded character. He is three dimensional and I like him.

Ryan is still mysterious, so I can't comment on him a lot.

Dr. Young, to me kind of falls flat. She doesn't seem like an actual person. She gets a bit, a very tiny bit mind you, two dimensional. Now I understand that it is too early for me to say this and that her character gets improvised later on, but still. You wanted a review for the first seven parts, and that's exactly what you get. I'm just gonna let you know how I feel about the parents and you can decide if that's what you were looking for or not and edit accordingly.

I feel like its the parents who are the baddies. Trying to keep Colton away from Ryan or something. Kinda like that Channing Tatum film. Which I still can't remember the name of.

Plot:

Smooth transitioning, no plot holes. Yet. But the story hasn't even begun, so I really can't say. Anyway, I love what you have done until now. Keep going. Since it is a mystery, crime trope, I really hope you pick up the pace. Up until now, except for the last few chapters, nothing really significant has happened.

So this is a major thing. I feel like a lot of what you have written could have easily been omitted in the second or third drafts. Don't get me wrong, they were so well written. But just because of that, it doesn't mean they are essential. Ask yourself if each thing you write is exceptionally essential or not. If it isn't, then your book just becomes pages and pages of descriptive, and beautiful writing with no actual advance in plot. I feel like your chapters stretch out one line into four. But then again, beginning stages. [I'm gonna stop saying just add this beginning stages to the entire review]

I feel like your chapters could be a little longer. I can see how much editing you have done for each chapter. Each word carefully chosen and honestly, your work is beautiful to a fellow writer. Most readers don't and can't see the impeccable effort the writer has put into beautiful writing, even though they can feel it. So if the plot doesn't rush them [especially for a crime, mystery or something] they get bored. So the point is, make the chapters longer, include more story in each of them, less of really descriptive words for each small thing. But hey, if it's your style and I'm too quick to judge, which I really feel I am, keep going.

Final words:

I love your style and I hope to see you get more votes and recognition! You really do deserve it. This is so well written. So good. But with minor flaws. Keep going! Your story has a lot of potential. But it really is too early to give a detailed review.

-agni_infinity

Please PM me your email so I can send you the A good read sticker!!