𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒃𝒚 𝑩𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇

Titanic

I was going to kill myself, that's where I met the love of my life. He saved me.

I was raised into a very wealthy family, did I always like it? No, money comes with a lot of problems, especially including the people that come with it.

I a supposed to get married in a week, to a man who treats women with little respect, but there was a smal part of me that did love him. Definitely not with all of myself, only a little bit, and if we'll say I rejected him, I would have to live with that regret, so i said yes.

My family found out the biggest ship in the world was boating off to New York, so obviously they took their chance and next thing you know, we were going on a cruise.

*flashback*

I was at the table, with a group of people on the boat, getting more bored as what they were talking about interested me very little.

I pulled out a cigarette, and lit it, but of course mother looked at me with a blank expression, after I inhaled.

"You know I dont like that y/n" this caught Cal's attention as he took it from me saying;

"She know's" and put it out.

With little anger filling inside of me, I put down my cigarette holder.

"We'll both have the lamb, rare, with very little mint sauce. Hm. You like lamb, right sweet pea?"

I turned to Cal and smiled with the sarcasm only I knew I was showing.

A lady at our table then stated:

"you gunna cut her meat for her too there Cal?" Then chuckles.

She then changed the subject saying "hey, who thought of the name titanic? Was it you Bruce?"

"Yes, actually. I wanted to convert sheer size. And size means stability.. luxury and above all, strength."

"Do you know of dr. Freud, Mr. Ismay?" I asked "His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you."

"What's gotten into you?" Mother whispered to me.

"Excuse me." I said then walked away from the table.

I found myself outside, on the upstairs deck, moving so I stood at the edge, meanwhile looking at the people and things i saw surrounding our being under me.

My eyes found a very handsome man, he looked young. Just as I looked away I craved to look back, so I did, but then looked away after about 5 seconds.

Cal then came up to me, and tried to argue, which I then left, again.

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*old you* "I saw my whole life as If I'd already lived it. An endless parade of parties and cotillions... yachts and police marches. Always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. I felt like I was standing at a great precipice... with no one to pull me back. No one who cared. Or even noticed." *not my words, Roses*
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I found myself running away, at the bottom half of the boat, running to the very back, with tears in my eyes, and continuous panting.

I was now at the back, I quickly checked behind me to see no one there then moved myself to the edge. I looked below me to see the seemingly cold body of water.

I pulled myself over the rail, and turned around so I was facing the water. I leaned forward, holding my grip, breathing heavy, knowing what was about to be done.