Now That You Are Here

Mine To Protect

"Please what? Tell you it's okay? Tell you that I forgive you?"

"I wasn't meant to go this far. I swear."

"Don't you leave you. Don't you dare fucking leave me."

"I'm so sorry, Reign. I'm so fucking sorry."

Brixton tries to pull me into his arms, but I push him away.

"Don't touch me! Get away from me. I hate you. I hate you so much."

I hear Jenny chuckle as she takes a hold of Brixton's arm. He tries to pull out her reach, but she whispers something to him that makes him stop. Probably a sex thing. He's just a liar. He fucking used me. I thought we were together. I thought we loved each other. I thought we were an 'us', but that was a lie. There was never an 'us'. I lean against the cold, hard wall, and I slowly sink to the floor. Tears stream down my face like rivers. I try to take a deep breath, but nothing happens. I'm suffocating.

"Reign! Where are you? Reign!"

I try to answer, but my hand grasps at my throat, no words able to come out. I'm choking. I'm dying. A figure comes sprinting through the darkness, a flashlight in hand. When it kneels down, I see that Nick is squatting in front of me. He peels my hand from my throat, giving it a soft squeeze.

"You are going to be just fine."

I can't breath. I point at my throat, the tears choking me up.

"Hey, just look at me. Watch me breathe, okay? You are going to be okay."

He places my hand on his chest, and I try to slowly match my breath with Nick's.

"Dexter, I found her."

Dexter comes bolting around the corner, squatting right next to Nick.

"Is she okay?"

"She was having a panic attack, but she'll be alright."

"He's a jackass, Reign."

I smile, finally being able to take a breath.

"Yeah, fuck him. Not like fuck him, but fuck him. Do you know where I'm getting at, Rei?"

"I do."

The two of them breathe a sigh of relief. I push myself off the cold floor, looking down the dark hallway. I clench my bottom jaw, feeling completely numb.

"Where are you going?"

"I have no fucking idea, but I need to get out of here."

"Rei. Think about this for a minute."

"What's there to think about?"

"About the fact that the man you love abandoned you for-"

"The woman I was most worried about."

"Yes, exactly that."

"He chose who he wanted to choose. I can't change the fact that it wasn't me. That only means he wasn't the one."

Dexter and Nick look at me, sorrow filling their eyes.

One week later:

I watch him walk towards me. Unfortunately the only thing my brain is thinking is about how handsome he looks. Memories about the things we have done with each other float through my brain, and I desperately try to shove them away. The closer he gets the safer I feel yet he is the most dangerous man on the planet to me. 

He can rip my heart into a million pieces, and he has once. That's what terrifies me the most. If I allow myself to fall, my whole heart will be in his hands. Can I do that to myself? Can I even trust him enough? Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing was the same the day I met him.