The Virgin[K.NJ] ✔️

• Ｓｉｘｔｙ - Ｔｈｒｅｅ •

" You came back!" Namjoon exhales with relief, fully rushing towards you. It happened to quick unable to move he's already embracing you in a bear hug or hold. " I knew you'd come back! I knew it!"

What the hell is going on right now? Your stuck, again and this time you can't move. Your not even hugging him back.

" God! I missed you...your scent..your giggles," Would you believe me if I said Namjoon had already tearing as expresses his pain for this girl. Like I said.

Reflecting can do a lot. Realizing ones mistakes. And from his time off staying in the dorm waiting for you to walk through those fucking doors for weeks. You never came. And with every day that went by he was reflecting off the situation and realized where he was wrong.

And he too is sorry for all the bullshit he's done. The way he came off ass possessive, his behavior, constantly finding conflicts with his brothers, and finally you. For the way he's treated you. How he took advantage of someone who was blinded to the ways of this cruel world.

And he regrets himself for being the one to take your innocence. All because he was just trying to do some sort of fucking stupid ass deal. If he could turn back time he would and make everything different. Instead, approach you and treat you like a fucking gentleman should.

" I've missed you walking around with your glasses on, your not so funny humors jokes, and your slight stubbornness... I've missed it all..." Shivers ran down your spine feeling him inhale at the crook of your neck, his hands right above your waist.

" Did you think about me...?" He mumbles sadly, not sure why he even asked. He wasn't intending to even ask anything regarding himself. But it just slipped out. I guess he couldn't help himself.

But to answer his question. You did and a lot. But the thing was. It wasn't just him that came to mind it was the other six boys. The others who also manage to take place of somewhere inside your heart.

While explaining the whole situation to Ten, who as a supportive friend would listen. And he listens well. Laying in the backyard of your house staring at the stars, you explained it all from the start. From moving dorm rooms to where you are now.

Explaining every emotions you feel inside. What you feel. What confused you. What felt right and weird. And to pour everything out felt so good. Especially, to the ones that care for your well being.

" I did." You answer, swallowing thickly. " But Namjoon, we need to talk." Right, talk. If only you knew how fast Namjoon's heart was beating at the moment. You'd actually be afraid to even say anything with the way his heart is pounding.

He takes in a deep breath, giving you a little squeeze and lets go, exhaling. "Okay..." He sniffles a little and walks over to the couch and sits down, gesturing you to take a seat on the other couch diagonal from him.

Here goes nothing...

It was silent for a moment. A long moment and Namjoon didn't mind it at all. The silence was killing him but he wanted to give you space, time. Whenever you were ready he's ready to listen to what you got to say.

" I think I may have caught feeling for you," It's like Namjoon just got the air knocked out of him. It wasn't bad. He felt happy? Is that how he'd describe it? " But it's not just you." Oh, boy. Here it goes. Taking a deep breath, hands interlocked together as you scotched to the edge of the seat. " I have feelings for the boys as well. Seokjin oppa..., Yoongi oppa..., Hobi, Jiminie.... Kookie..." And finally. " And Taehyung..."

Just as Namjoon was to respond, you spoke first.

" But I'm letting you all go..." What? " It'll hurt because... Just saying or thinking it..hurts. But I've caused to much damage to you all... We all hurt one another... You've all hurt me just as I hurt you all." You stand to your feet, walking towards Namjoon as you stood in front of him.

Leaning down, you cup his cheeks in your small warm hands, caressing his cheek bones with the tips of your fingers and softly placed your lips against his. Softly kissing him. A last goodbye kiss.

Pulling away, pressing your foreheads together eyes closed, your tears trickling down your cheeks.

" But I don't regret a single thing I've done with you... Or the others. I'm glad you all were my firsts..." A warm smile of hurt yet happiness coated your lips. " And you've all taught me something in your own ways... Even when it wasn't sex." But what's happening between you all is toxic.

It isn't healthy for anyone. And you chose to be the one to break whatever it is that's going on with these seven boys. It's best for you and for everyone. You know it... You can feel it.

Of course you've considered how the others would feel but in the end everyone has opinions, options that not everyone agrees with. And ending everything will be that disagreement.

Pulling away while chuckling a little sadly you wipe your tears. Meeting eye to eye with Namjoon.

He's completely frozen, his heart shattering by the second he imagines his life without you. How miserable he'll be. Everyday he'll regret not treating you the way he should have from the start.

Realizing he should have appreciated what he had. The famous line saying:

Nobody never really cares to appreciate what they have until it's gone.

" Take care of yourselves for me, okay? and I'll do the same." Pecking his forehead was the last thing you did walking away from within his reach and out the dorm.

Tears so many fucking tears. They came down with each step you got farther away. It's hurting so much. Why? It's just a mild crush. It shouldn't hurt this much. Right?

The cold night breeze blows past you, feeling like you can finally breath. It hurts yet, part of you feels good about what you did. Relief?

Is it possible to hold your own heart in your own hands and crush it?