Roommates | [kth.jjk]

28.

C H A P T E R
TWENTY-EIGHT:

Taehyung was in bed, laying there in the dark and silence, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what made it all turn sour. He sighs, turning his head towards the left to stare at Jungkook's empty one. He wasn't staying with Taehyung anymore. He was sleeping in Hoseok's room with Jin. And Taehyung was left all alone to ponder and search his way through his own thoughts. But Taehyung didn't expect the deafening silence and lonliness to be this painful. To be honest, Taehyung was used to it. He had always been alone, since he was an only child and his mother barely spewed out any words to him since his father left.

But he was okay, he always made sure that he was doing fine. But this time, all the emotions that he felt, were just so raw, so hard to comprehend, so easy to just let in. And Taehyung was feeling so much that it reached a point...where he didn't even know what he was feeling. And just like that, he was just a lost little boy searching for love. Searching for himself. And searching for someone to love.

Taehyung knew what he felt for Jungkook. And it was much more than old, hidden feelings of the past. It was much more than arousal and attraction. It was much more than his heart fluttering at the sight of Jungkook's bunny smile. It was so much more than the world's weight against him. And he regrets that he didn't see it earlier. He regrets letting Jungkook go. And he regrets not being able to admit how in love he was with Jungkook. Taehyung had always tried to live without any regrets, but now he was beginning to see that every action he's ever done is starting to build up against him, to create the biggest regret he's ever had, and that's letting Jungkook go, once more.

If only he had stopped Jungkook before he walked out, and begged on his knees for another chance to be better, if only he had treated Jungkook the right way. If only...he had not been a petty little child then maybe, just maybe Jungkook would be with Taehyung, arms and legged wrapped around him, head on his chest, sleeping with Taehyung. Taehyung imagined having Jungkook in his arms, wishing to the heavens and back for a different life, a life without pain. A life without darkness. A life without sadness.

But no matter how hard Taehyung wished, he knew that he was stuck. Stuck being alone. It had always been that way, especially since a young age. Growing up without a friend, a sibling, a parent worthy of raising a kid, he had always been more than alone. But now, this silence, this empty void, this darkness he laid in, was killing him slowly on the inside. And he didn't realise that it was eating at him from the inside until now.

Ten years ago...

"Appa! Dad! Watch me, I made this-" young Taehyung pauses when he sees his father standing by his bed, sadness written all over his face as he placed a little note softly by his bedside table. Taehyung's father turns around, quickly stuffing the note into his pocket, it was best this way. He had to speak to Taehyung. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he just left without speaking to his son. "T-taehyung, come on over here," he beckons over with his hand as he watches his eight year old son hesitate before stepping forward.

Taehyung's father sat down on the bed, a soft sigh leaving his lips as Taehyung sat down next to him. "Son, sometimes, you make bad decisions. And you can't help but ignore it for a long while, until finally..you can't handle it anymore," he pauses, looking down at his son. Taehyung shifts on his bed, "dad..why are you telling me this?" He says softly, playing with his small hands. Taehyung's father wraps his arm around his son. "There may be a time where you find yourself sad, missing someone you loved dearly, but remember that they'll always be right here," he points at Taehyung's chest with a soft smile.