(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 19: Sorry

        At the end of the day, I left without waiting for my friends. I went straight to the bus, knowing I wasn't getting a ride home. I sat by myself, waiting impatiently for my stop. I got off quickly and rushed to my house, suddenly filled with anger.

        I didn't want to ignore Nolan until he finally came around to talk to me. I wanted to yell at him for being so stupid and immature. I wanted him to know how I felt for once. I dropped my backpack off inside my house, and stalked down the street with my emotions controlling my actions.

        I should have known he wasn't going to be there. He didn't have to bring me home, so I should have assumed he'd be out messing around with his friends. Still, I didn't return home. I was being stubborn, so I sat myself down on his front porch and waited.

        At one point, I thought his parents would get home before him, but just as my anger was fading away and I was about to get up, his car turned down the street. My emotions resurfaced and I stood, watching as Nolan pulled into the driveway. I saw Derek in the passenger seat and Jason and Craig in Jacon's car, parking in the street.

        Nolan remained calm as he stepped out and walked towards me, his friends lingering in the driveway.

        "What are you doing here?" he asked quietly, seeming angry and surprised.

        "We need to talk," I answered firmly, crossing my arms over my chest. We both looked back at his friends, and I added, "they can leave."

        "Why can't we do this later?" Nolan wondered, and I looked at him incredulously.

        "NO!" I snapped. Nolan nodded slowly and stalked off towards his friends. They exchanged a few words, and then piled into Jason's car and drove off. I didn't let Nolan reach me before I started.

        "I can't believe you!" I exclaimed, my hands in the air by my head. "You were being a jerk today about Rian being in my class, and then you completely ignore me for the rest of the day? I didn't even do anything wrong, and you're just, what? Going to ignore me until you get over it and think I'll be okay with that?"

        "Whoa, okay, this is NOT my fault," Nolan said, pointing to himself. "Why do we have to keep going over this? You know how I feel about those douche bags, and you didn't bother to tell me you're with one every day."

        "Oh, God, Nolan, seriously? I ahven't talked to him in weeks because you and Ronnie didn't want me to! I did exactly what you wanted!" I shouted, pointing my finger at him, which I knew he hated.

        "Then why did Craig see you talking after first period? Did you think I wouldn't find out about it?" he questioned, towering over me. It could have been frightening to anyone else, but I wasn't letting him win this. I was too worked up to give in.

        "You make it seem like I was doing something illegal. He asked me what the homework was, and I told him. That's all that happened. That was the first time I'd talked to him since school started. I avoided him and Zack all summer for you. I rearranged my entire schedule just so I wouldn't work with them, for you!"

        "Well, I'm sorry I'm such a bourdon," Nolan spat. I bared my teeth, my entire body tense. I was done with this drama. I couldn't handle the tension between my friends and Rian and his friends. I'd pulled myself in two directions at the beginning of summer, and I'd dne what I thought was right, but it still wasn't good enough.

        I was still the bad one, even when I did what my friends wanted. I was still being accused and made to choose.

        "You know what, I don't want to deal with this," I spat angirly. I tried to push past Nolan, but he grabbed onto my arms, clearly not done with the argument.

        "So, you're going to walk away?" he wondered. His voice lowered, but he was still angry and his eyes were still dark.

        "I don't know what you want me to do, Nolan. I can't win. I did my best to avoid Rian and his friends, but nobody's happy. I'm ignoring people who did nothing wrong to me because it's what my friends wanted. I am doing exactly what you wanted to do, and you're not happy," I said softly, my hands up in defeat. "Your feelings for them are obviously stronger than your feelings for me, because they seem to be your top priority."

        "That's not fair," Nolan said quickly, his whole body changing. He could see it too, what was coming next. "You can't really think that."

        "Why not?" I asked. "You can't just believe that I do my best to ignore them. You can't let it go when I say that I've done nothing wrong. YOu turn everything into a huge deal, like you did today."

        "I don't know what else you want me to do. I hate them. They're assholes, I just, I hate them," he said.

        "I know," I muttered, shifting uncomfortably on my feet. I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. I wanted Nolan to say something, but he looked just as unsure as I did.

        "So, you think," he started, then stopped. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, hoping that my voice wouldn't break.

        "It's probably for the best," I whispered, barely getting the words out of my mouth. Nolan nodded, shoving his hands into the pockts of his jeans.

        "Well, uh, I'm sorry," he said uncomfortably, watching me carefully. His expression was blank, but his eyes looked sad. I nodded, unable to do anything else at that moment. I knew this was a mutual thing, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

        With nothing left tos ay, Nolan backed up a step before turning and walking up his front porch steps. I bit down on my lip and turned away from him, walking slowly back to my house with my hands crossed over my chest. I hadn't said it, but I was sorry too.