(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 33: Choice

        I couldn't bring myself to go back to my house after almost being caught by the girls. My heart wouldn't stop racing, and my palms were sweating. It was a rush, to say the least, but it wasn't the good kind. It was the terrifying kind.

        When Rian and the boys got off the stage after the show, I stood awkwardly to the side. There were a few kids from school still there, and I instantly wished I could disappear. I didn't want any of them thinking I was waiting for them, so I snuck out as discretely as possible. It was almost pitch black outside besides the lights that were suspended above the parking lot.

        I knew Rian had driven his dad's truck to get his drums here, so it was easy to pick it out. My hands were tucked into the pockets of my black jacket. My hair was pulled into a messy bun. My black slouchy boots were warm enough, but I knew I'd have to break something warmer out for the winter that was coming. The air was nipping at my neck, but it was refreshing against my flushed skin.

        Maybe I was getting in too deep, maybe it was too much. Maybe being Rian's friend is only going to make us both get hurt in the end. The girls were going to find out, I just knew it. It's only been a few times of hanging out with Rian and we've been caught by Charlotte and were almost found out by Veronica herself. I should be doing this. I'm such a horrible friend.

        Thinking about not hanging out with Rian made my stomach churn, my heart plummeted into my stomach, and my breath became shallow. I didn't want to think about it, because I didn't want it to happen. In the small time I've spent with him, he's been a better person to me than anyone else that I had ever met. We barely knew each other, but I already knew so much about him. Avoiding him made my chest feel hollow. I was in over my head, and no matter what decision I made, someone was going to be unhappy. But, I didn't know that it would hurt so much to think about losing him.

        I leaned my back against the truck. I felt myself heaving for breath, beginning to become so worked up over a person I've barely gotten to know. I wasn't sure what was making my response so emotional, but I hated the pinching I felt in my chest. I hated how much it hurt.

        Only moments later, I saw Rian walking over to the truck with his keys in his hand. The only way I could tell was by the bright, white smile I was able to see in the darkness. He twirled the keys around his fingers, beaming at me with a sweaty face. I knew he was coming over to bring his truck to the back doors to load up the equipment. My feet were glued to the ground, unable to flinch.

        He stood in front of me a second later, a foot between us. He was wearing a grin until he saw the expression on my face. His mouth fell, eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

        "You alright, Kar?" He dared to reach out and touch my hands wrapped around my waist. I shrugged, swallowing my spit and looking away from him. I focused my eyes on the ground, searching for my words.

        "Fine," I barely mumbled, clutching my fingers tightly.

        "I wasn't born yesterday," Rian laughed lightly, hoping to lighten my mood. It didn't work. "Did I do something wrong?" There was a silence that fell over us, Rian waiting patiently for me to speak. He already knew that I would crack under the quiet.

        "Veronica and the girls walked in, and they almost saw me," I finaly got myself to look at him. My eyes met his dark brown ones, swallowing again, my mouth dry. "It was so close -- it was so fucking close." I never swear, I have no clue where that came from.

        "Well, they didn't see you. There's nothing to worry about," Rian let out his breath, giving me a reassuring smile. I shook my head, hands shaking slightly. Why was I so emotional about this?

        "What if they did see me, Rian?" I breathed out, watching his cute, crooked smile fall once again. Ihated the way I was making him wipe it off his face, but I couldn't help these feelings. "Do you know what would have happened -- what would've happened to you guys? Veronica would have everyone against you, she would make your life a living hell. I would feel so bad, so fucking bad. This was a bad idea. I shouldn't be here." I ran my fingers over my face, just comprehending what would happen.

        I never really thought about what would happen if Veronica found out -- or what could happen to Rian and the boys. I knew that they wouldn't deserve anything that Veronica would inflict upon them. She would plot every person against them -- ruin their last years of high school. She would have people after them, physically, every day. She would destroy them. She had too much power over the kids in our school.

        Thinking about what she was going to do to me was something I could deal with. I knew that I would have to own up to it if she ever found out, it was my fault after all. I was the one that agreed to the exchange, it was my responsibility. I knew she could break me down until I begged her to leave me alone, but it was something I was risking. I was being selfish when Rian barely knew what he was getting himself into.

        "Hey, no.." Rian's voice was concerned, fingers reaching out once again, curling to the arm of my jacket and gripping it tightly. He tugged softly, pulling me into his chest. My arms were tucked around my torso while I leaned my head into his shoulder. He had a few inches on me, letting me rest my mouth against his shoulder. I leaned into his stomach, taking in the smell of clean laundry and salty skin. His arms were around my shoulders, tightening slightly. "You can be wherever you want to be."

        I couldn't help the way that my hands relaxed, wrapping around Rian's abdomen. I could feel his warm breath on the side of my face, but it didn't bother me at all. I didn't want to move, I liked the way his body felt. It was comfortable and caring.

        "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into by hanging out with me," I said against his shirt, blinking away the ridiculous tears building in my eyes. My fingers curled into the fabric of his damp band tee.

        "Don't worry about what I'm getting myself into." Rian laughed against me, hands falling away just enough to meet my eyes. My hands moved to my chest again, crossing them securely in front of me. Our faces were a few inches apart, but it wasn't awkward, it was intense, the way he was looking at me. He was telling me, not suggesting. "I already know what I'm doing, and I wouldn't have invited you here if I didn't want you to be here."

        "You don't know Veronica..." I was trying to warn him, but he wouldn't have it. His hand fell over my mouth, a small smirk on his face.

        "I know her a lot better than you think I do." He chuckled, calloused hands moving from my mouth, and cupped my chin, forcing my eyes on his. It wasn't supposed to be taken romantically, but instead to make eye contact. I couldn't deny the desire for him to lean forward, just slightly. I shook the thought, looking at him. "I won't hate you if you stop hanging out with us. I mean, Jack will be slightly offended, but he'll understand -- I understand. You do have a choice, believe it or not."

        "If I don't, Veronica will hate us," I said, lookng away from his eyes and down at his shirt. I reached forward, fingering the material of his shirt in my hands. I continued to murmur, "If I stop hanging out with you guys, neither of us will be happy."

        "Rian, let's go!" Alex's voice barged in on the conversation, echoing through the parking lot. He looked over his shoulder, and looked to Alex, a girl under his arm. I rolled my eyes. FIgures Alex would want to hurry up for a girl. He isn't labeled a player for nothing.

        Rian's eyes found mine once again, unsure of what to say. Instead, he leaned forward, pressing his lips lightly to my cheek. I froze. My fingers still against his shirt. He laughe softly, pulling away. "I think you should stick around for a while. Jack will miss you too much." He teased me, grinning.

        I laughed lightly, giggling much higher than normal. My face was flushed, and I tried to swallow my spit again. I covered my mouth lightly, feeling my worries melt away. Veronica was no longer a problem, my best friends didn't matter. I was caught up in the moment, so all I did was nod like an idiot, unsure of what I was really getting us both into.