(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 46: Breathe

        There was an aching feeling in my chest that wouldn't go away for the rest of the afternoon. And no matter which way I sat, or if I took medicine, it would still be present in the front of my mind. It hurt, really. I hadn't expected it to burn like it was now, but it continued to smolder.

        I had my knees curled up to my chest, looking blankly at the top of my coffee colored sheets. The only thing that was keeping my attention much at all was Charlotte sitting at my side. She had stopped by after school, even when I didn't ask. She was just being the good friend that she was, and I needed the comfort, I felt alone without any of the girls knowing what was going on with me.

        "Don't beat yourself up about it," Charlotte said softly, giving me an encouraging smile. I could see it from the corner of my eye. "He's just a jerk like the rest of his friends. I wouldn't get upset about something that is so..useless to you. You can do so much better."

        I wanted to agree with her, I really did. But at the same time, I wanted to shove her away from me. I had this urge to scream at her, teling her that he was the furthest thing from useless. He was more than useful; he was a stupid miracle to me.

        I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing that I really couldn't. Rian was the nicest guy I had ever met. He surpassed guys like Nolan, and most girls swoon over how charming he could be. He made me a birthday dinner, he was there when no one else was. He was better than me, and maybe he finally realized that. 

        Maybe Katie was the nicest girl in the entire world. Maybe she gave him things that I wasn't ready to give anyone. He had to figure that I was a virgin, that Nolan was definitely not the one for me. He had to have realized that, and he udnerstood that he wouldn't be getting laid. Maybe I wasn't pretty enough, or smart or funny enough. Maybe Katie was all of those things and I didn't know that.

        "I was just hoping that he'd prove me wrong," I finally managed to say while letting out a shaky breath. My voice jumped and fell with the uneven beating of my heart while I licked my dry lips, feeling pathetic. I wiped underneath by eyes once, not wanting to be so upset about it.

        Charlotte opened her mouth to speak again, when there was a loud knocking coming from downstairs. I looked towards my open door the same instant she did, and she stood up with a small smile.

        "I'll get it for you," she said kindly, before disappearing out of the threshold. I didn't even bother nodding, instead playing with the hem of my comforter. My mind began to wander once again, finding that I was cursing at myself internally. My frustration with Rian finally occurred, an irritated tug at my lungs. I bit down on my lip in anger, I was so mad at myself.

        How could I let Rian get to me that way? How the hell could I let him just kiss me that night in his car? How could I believe all of the shit that he fed me, telling me how much better I was than all my friends? He was a liar, the same way that Alex was. Alex was a douche bag to girls, he knew what to say just to get them into bed. What makes Rian so much different than him?

        Nothing, nothing at all.

        I shook my head once, realizing the muffled voices coming from my first floor. I felt my eyebrows pull together as I listened carefully. Charlotte was talking -- no, she was arguing with someone. She was yelling, but who was she yelling at?

        I found it in myself to crawl out of my bed and shuffle into the hallway. I descended the stairs, and felt myself turn stiff when I got to the bottom and turned the corner. In the clear view of my kitchen, Rian was outside the glass door, foot between the door and the wall. Charlotte was tugging on it harshly, voice fiercer than I had ever heard before.