(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 39: I Don't Care

        At the end of the night, I felt more relaxed than I've felt in a long time. It was relaxing, being on the roof with the boys, and I understood Rian better when he said this was the second best way to relief stress or anger; the first being band practice.

        I'd gotten a lot of things off my chest while we were up there. It was even better because the guys didn't judge or mock me for what I said, like my friends would have done.

        I could question some of my friends' intentions or actions without worrying about them finding out. I could make a comment about my teachers or workload without my friends wondering why I was trying so hard in school. I could complain about Nolan and Lindsey without Veronica suggesting that if I had given Nolan what he wanted, I wouldn't be in this problem.

        I was disappointed when I reached into the bucket and only found two balls left. I took one, muttered one last complaint, and hit it as hard as I could. I tried to follow it to see where it was landing on the other side of the street, but it disappeared from my view somewhere over the street.

        Jack hit the last ball as I moved to stand next to Rian, who was leaning on his golf club. He looked down at me as I stood next to him, my arm brushing against him.

        "You have fun?" he asked, moving his club into his other hand so he could take mine again. I bent my fingers with his easily, the gesture so familiar and comfortable.

        "Yeah, I did," I nodded, looking up at him. He grinned even wider, looking but not saying anything. I felt my heart race at the silence that had fallen between us.

        For the tiniest moment, Rian's eyes focused on my lips. The look only lasted a second, and I almost didn't catch it, but I did. Rian's head moved a fraction of an inch closer, but he jumped back at Jack clearing his throat.

        "You two spending the night up there or are you going to come down?" he asked, smirking. My first reaction was to pull my hand away from Rian's in embarrassment, but he was holding my hand firmly, so all I could do was blush profusely.

        "We're coming," Rian grumbled, and I noticed that Alex and Zack had already climbed down.

        Jack winked at me in the dark before leaving the group. His feet hit the dumpster loudly, and I heard Alex yell at him not to be so loud. Jack said something that I couldn't quite understand as Rian and I came down from the roof.

        Rian took my club and handed them to Alex, who dropped them in the trunk and then pushed it closed. We stood on the side of the car, Zack on the other side, as Alex walked around to stand in front.

        Jack brushed past me jump onto the front of Alex's car. He opened his mouth to speak, but Alex scowled at him, and then pushed him so he slid off the side, stumbling before regaining his balance.

        "I don't want your ass on my car," he said, and Jack glared at him for a moment before beaming.

        "My ass on your car would be an improvement," he grinned, and then ducked Alex's fist. I laughed lightly, watching Jack take a step away and then straighten his shirt.

        "Anyways," He started. "What's next?" he looked at us, while the guys shrugged. I looked at the time. It was well past nine, only a few minutes before ten. My mom would want me home soon.

        "I don't think I can do anything else," I said looking up from the time. "My mom wants me home soon," I frowned slightly looking up at Rian.

        "I'll bring you home then," he said, turning to move towards the car. The rest of the guy gave an echo of 'byes' and Jack waved wildly at me with a large grin. I chuckled and shook my head, waving back lightly.

        I shivered involuntarily as I slid into Rian's car. The weather changed fairly quickly, and the first few days of November were cold. I had forgotten how cold the night was until now.

        Rian noticed and after the car ran for a few minutes, he turned on the heat. Warm air blew across my face, warming the car immediately.

        "Do you guys do that often?" I asked, after a few minutes of silence in which I thought he would've started a conversation. He looked as if I'd pulled him from a deep thought as he glanced at me.

        "We do it as often as we can. It's a good way to de-stress and a change of pace from band practice."

        "Well, it works. That was the most relieved I've felt in weeks," I sighed, both of us smiling happily.

        "I'm glad you enjoyed it," Rian said, turning the heat down a notch. The car grew even more silent as the noise from the hea decreased and we fell into another silence.

        I didn't try to start a conversation this time, I kept to myself, feeling that Rian wanted to go back to whatever thought he'd had in his head. I wondered if it was what I was now thinking about: what happened, or almost happened, back on the roof.

        He'd wanted to kiss me; that was obvious. If Jack hadn't been standing there, he would have. Would I have let him? I told him that we couldn't be together, and he told me that he undestood, but regardless, we acted like we were together.

        It was frustrating because of how wrong it was, but nice at the same time because Rian was an amazing guy that in different circumstances, I could have considered in a heartbeat. I couldn't though. It was too risky. I cared for him, and I didn't want him to get hurt by Veronica.

        I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice we'd stopped at the end of my street. I almost jumped when Rian said my name softly, and his lips twitched at the fact that he'd frightened me.

        "Uh, I'll see you later," I said, eyes moving from outside to Rian's face. As I reached for the handle, Rian's hand fell onto mine, making me stop. My heartbeat sped up and I let my hand fall back onto my leg.

        "Rian," I said softly, vaguely aware of how close we'd become, "I already told you, we can't be together."

        "I know," he muttered. "I don't care." I was being torn in two different directions. I liked Rian, and part of me wanted him to kiss me, but a voice inside my head kept screaming my friends' names, a warning of everything that could happen.

        "It's too complicated," I tried to say, trying to do the right thing for both of us, but my words were lost once again as Rian leaned forward.

        His lips against mine sent a familiar shock through my body, one I felt almost every time he touched me. It lasted only a few seconds, and it wasn't entirely wrong; it sure didn't feel wrong. It was a kiss that was much newer and different than kissing Nolan, but in an extremely good way.

        When Rian pulled back, he kept his head close to mine, his lips turning up into a brilliant smile, "Like I said," he told me. "I don't care."