(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 24: Jay (Kara's POV)

        My feet carried me down the center of my road, my breath shallow. I didn't feel like I could move faster than I was right now. I glanced up the pavement, seeing it slide out of my view as I sprinted, looking back up the street. The cool air made my throat burn, but I didn't let it bug me. It was what I was focusing on; I needed to get my mind off all of this -- anything having to do with my life

        My running shorts swayed with my movement, shirt shuffling over my shoulders. I didn't need an iPod to exercise, I just needed to concentrate on my breathing. I just needed to keep my mind on the fact that I'm still breathing.

        I could see the lights at the end of my driveway. I was going past Nolan's house and that's when my feet picked up speed; speed I didn't know I had. I felt like I was gliding on top of the cement, my house getting closer and closer. I almost considered turning around, hoping that if I kept running then my thoughts would never catch up with me again.

        As my house finally came into view, I started to slow down, my feet carrying me as I decreased speed, now fast walking around my grass in the center of my U-shaped driveway. I do circles to try and catch my breath. My chest is heaving, and I tried to keep my mind on the fact that my throat tasted like blood, and my legs felt like jell-o. I knew my face was flushed as I leaned my palms on the tops of my knees, looking at the ground while inhaling and exhaling loudly. The sun was setting over the trees, leaving the sky a bright orange.

        After a few minutes, the feeling in my neck and legs started to subside. I hated the fact that my mind wandered to old thoughts, to all the things I wanted to completely forget.

        I know how melodramatic I sound, but I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurts. It hurt knowing that Nolan had already moved on. It sucks thinking that I meant so little to him, even after all the months we were together. It stung that he obviously was just in it for sex, and he was only upset that we broke up because he never got laid. My heart throbbed at the fact that I wasn't special, and how stupid I was for thinking that I might have loved Nolan.

        I'm not sure if it's Nolan I miss, but just what I didn't mean to him. I was an object. I was just another person to get with and leave. The almost six months we spent together were just days to him, a count down until we had sex. I was crushed that even with my most serious relationship, I wasn't worth the time to try and fix things.

        I collapsed onto the ground, knees bent while looking up at the darkening sky. My heartbeat was still erratic, but it would be back to normal completely in a few minutes. The grass was cool against my moist back, but it felt god at this point.

        "What are you doing?" I heard a voice call over to me from the street. It was familiar, and when I looked up, I saw Jay driving by in her car. She got her license a few days ago, and I'm sure she was coming home from Charlotte's house. It seemed that when I was with Veronica, Jay and Charlotte were together, and Ava and Sophia were too. We had out best friends within our best friends. Sometimes, it was comforting.

        "I was running," I said, noting how out of breath I was still. She pulled her car into the driveway, invisitng herself over without asking. I didn't mind, we always did that to each other. Her silver Camry slid into the grass as she turned off the ignition, getting out of the driver's seat and walked in my direction. Her medium length dark hair hung past her shoulders, curled. Her arms wrapped around her middle, over a gray sweater and purple scarf. She was wearing boots with a heel I could never imagine wearing. I'd probably kill myself.

        "What's on your mind, sugar plum?" she asked, making herself comfortable next to me as she settled into the grass. I really did love the way some of my friends knew something was wrong without asking.

        "Everything," I muttered, letting my head fall back into the grass. She laughed lightly, a light smile on her face while pulling her knees to her chest, hugging them for warmth.

        "Nolan?" She guessed, but it wasn't hard to figure out. It's barely been a week and a half since we broke up and a week sinc ehe started dating that stupid Lindsey girl from school.        

        "It just pisses me off, you know? I sighed, blinking rapidly to push away the stupid tears. I was done crying over it already, but I couldn't help but pity myself a little. "It's like I meant nothing at all."

        "I know what you mean," she murmured quietly, almost to herself. I glanced over at her profile for an instant, before turning back to the sky. It was purple now, blending together interestingly.

        "Why did I even think that I was something special?" I said to myself stupidly. I rolled my eyes and scoffed at the thought. "He was just a pig like the rest of them."

        "Amen to that sister." Jay said again, smiling weakly at me. Her eyes were tired, and I could see that something was bothering her too. I knew she'd never tell me if I asked. She was stubborn, and it was soemthing I liked about her. It made it all the more difficult to have her open up, though.

        "Maybe I should start dating outside our school," I laughed lightly, hoping to make a joke of it.

        "I was just thinking the same thing last week," she smiled at the road in front of her blankly. "Everyone dates everyone else in this school. I'm sure Ava, Ron, and Sophia have all swapped spit with the guys that are worth hooking up with."

        "That's disgusting," I giggled, hitting her teasingly. She grinned, moving with my push before sitting normally again.

        "It's true. All of the guys in our school are shit," she sighed in defeat. I shrugged once.

        "I guess, or maybe there's just something wrong with me," I prodded at myself, really considering the thought. I mean, if I can't even keep one guy happy, then maybe I'm the problem.

        Jay's hair swung in the wind, and she looked at me saking her head. Her eyes focused on the road as she spoke with the only authority that I've ever heard in her voice.

        "There's nothing wrong with you, Kara. You're a good person, and a good best friend. Just because Nolan's an asshole doesn't mean anything. It just means that he's a boy and isn't worth your time. All the guys in our school want is sex, and just because you're not willing to give it to them doesn't mean anything except that you're one of the only girls around here with morals."

        "Eh, thanks," I mumbled quietly as her voice faded. I wasn't used to complements like that, "So aren't you Jay. We're in the same boat, I guess."

        She looked over at me briefly, a hint of regret in her eyes as she gave me a small smile, a fake smile. I knew she was hiding something. She forced out a little laugh while speaking through her teeth, lke it hurt to say what she was about to.

        "Yeah, I guess we are."