(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 50: Hurt

        I practically sprinted back to my house, fully prepared to do something rash and stupid. Drive down to Rian's and yell at him until I felt better. Yet, as I pushed open my front door, gasping for breath, I started to second guess my plans.

        First off, I was sweating from running so much and even though I shouldn't care how Rian saw me, I still didn't want to go over there like I was now. Also, I had absolutely no clue what I would even say to him. All I knew was that I wanted to say something, or yell something, because I was so angry.

        My anger might not have been completely directed at him, because I was still torn, but I knew he was a part of it.

        I thought taking a shower would calm me down; usually standing under the hot water does, but fifteen minutes later I was wrapping a towel around my body, still as frustrated as I was before.

        Frowning to myself, I searched for clean clothes; a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I pulled my hair into an elastic as I left my room and hopped quickly down the stairs. Brenda was sitting on the couch, watching TV. I hesitated, wondering if she would bring me to Rian's house because my parents weren't home and I wasn't allowed to drive myself, as I only had my permit. But I hadn't been fair to her earlier and she could be mad at me. Still, part of me hoped she'd be happy I was going to see Rian.

        "Hey Bren?" I said carefully, taking a few steps twoards her. She craned her neck, looking at me over the couch. She didn't look angry. "Uh, do you think you could drive me to Rian's house?" I asked, and watched her smile softly.

        "Sure, no problem," she said, turning the TV off as she stood up. She grabbed her keys from the kitchen counter and a minute later we were in her car, driving down the street.

        "So what's with the sudden change of heart?" she asked me after I told her where Rian lived.

        "I don't know," I lied, trying to keep my voice even. I couldn't tell her I was still mad at him and the only plan I had did not involve calm conversation.

        She nodded, and didn't push things forward. She didn't speak again until we were stopped outside of his house. As I peered up at the front door through the window, my heart raced nervously. This was a bad idea. He might not even be home.

        "Do you want me to hang out and wait?" she asked me, and I looked at her, biting my lip.

        "That might be a good idea," I whispered, and then looked back at the house. Rian had opened the door and was looking right at me. I couldn't leave now. Taking deep breaths to calm myself down, I pushed open the door and headed up the lawn. Rian's eyes showed  no emotion and I couldn't tell if he was surprised, happy or angry that I was there. Even as he spoke, he gave no hint of his feelings.

        "What are you doing here?" he asked blandly, but I moved past him into the house, thankful that his parents were out. I hadn't seen their cars.

        "We need to talk," I spun on his, hands clenched on my waist as he shut the door, watching me.

        "You know, I don't think I really want to hear whatever you're going to accuse me of now, "He said bitterly, but I ignored him, starting to talk over him.

        "You didn't need to send Alex to try to make me change my mind, Rian!" I shouted over him, and he looked at me, confused.

        "I didn't tell Alex to do anything. If he went to talk to you he did it by himself. I was perfectly fine leaving you alone, just like you wanted!" he said loudly, taking steps towards me. "You picked your side Kara, I get that!"

        "Did you think I would pick you? After everything you did to Veronica, after you used her like Alex used Jay? You and your friends are nothing but trouble! I shouldn't have gotten involved with you in the first place! You're just like Alex!"

        I watched as Rian laughed darkly, like it was some kind of joke. MY fingers clenched together in anger and my chest was rising and falling heavily. I was too far in to try and leave now, and the only thing we could do now was get it all out.

        "Veronica was coming on to me that night!" he said, pointing to himself and emphasizing the words. "I turned her down and Alex was a dick about it! She was embarrassed because for once, somebody didn't want to sleep with her and Alex called her out on it! That's how this whole thing started! That's why she didn't like us, and Alex went and made it worse by using your friend!"

        "And if you're so interested in knowing who I've slept with, it's only been one person. My ex, who I dated for almost a year. We broke up a couple months before I even met you."

        "Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my voice coming out much more gentle than I'd wanted. We were no longer fighting. Rian had changed the atmosphere completely, and I didn't want to yell anymore.

        "Because it's the truth. I want you to believe me. Veronica is the only one lying to you, not me," he said, his tone pleading.

        I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I should believe him. I thought that I believed him about Katie. He hadn't tried to deny that Alex had used Jay when Charlotte brought it up. He'd never lied to me, and he just told me who he'd slept with. I hadn't asked, I hadn't really wanted to know, but he told me anyway.

        "Why would Veronica lie to me?" I asked, hating how my voice squeaked. I was hurt and confused. Standing in front of him now, I wanted so badly to believe him. Seeing him again, even if we were fighting, made me miss being around him.

        "Don't you get it?" Rian wondered softly, stepping closer. "It's all because she hates me, she hates my friends, and she wants you to hate us too. She doesn't want you to be with both of us. She wants you to pick her, and she doesn't care if she's hurting you."

        He leaned down, cupping my cheeks, his face centimeters from mine. It wasn't helping me think. I was supposed to hate him; I was supposed to be mad at him. But standing this close to him, all I wanted to do was kiss him and feel his lips on mine again.

        "I can't -- I can't just leave my friends," I breathed, my lips tingling. He was so close, his breath was blowing gently against my face.

        "How can they be your friends if all they're doing is lying to you and making you unhappy?" Rian asked softly.

        I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't keep deciding between my friends, or the people I thought were my friends, and Rian. I really had to make a choice this time, and either way, somebody was going to get hurt.