(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 21: Blame

        Sleep escaped me the entire weekend. I would lay in bed all night, sometimes crying just staring at the ceiling. I might have dozed off a few times, but for the most part, I was awake. The break up may have been natural, but it still hurt.

        I kept telling myself that after the weekend, I'd attempt to do something other than sit at home when I wasn't working, but what else did I have to do. I didn't find myself in the mood to hang out with the girls on Monday, and after school I had work anyways.

        My mom drove me to school, seeming almost reluctant to let me go. I'm sure she was worried about what would happen when I saw Nolan, because that was inevitable. I told her I would be fine. I told myself I would be fine, repeatint it in my head as I walked quickly to my first period class.

        I didn't see Nolan, Veronica or anyone else, and I didn't mind. It gave me about three hours to prepare myself for lunch. What I hadn't thought about until I reached English was Rian. I wasn't totally sure if he knew or not, but it was probably safe to assume he did. I'm sure the majority of the school knew.

        When he walked in, I tried not to look at him, but my curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know if he was looking at me. I wanted to look at his face, to see if it would tell me what he knew.

        I glanced at him, just for a second, and then looked away. He'd caught my eye and given me a sympathetic smile. He knew.

        I kept my eyes away from him the entire period, and didn't even try to pack up quickly at the end of class. I had a feeling he'd try to talk to me, so I wasn't attempting to get away. He'd follow me and I wasn't up for that right no.

        "Kara," he said softly, as people filed out of the room. I pulled my bag onto my shoulder and turned to him, taking in his soft and cautious expression. His eyes took in my face; my exhausted and upset expression that I was only half-attempting to hide.

        "I'm sorry, Rian. I really don't want to talk right now," I muttered, and left him with that. I didn't want him chasing me down the hallway. I didn't want my friends or Nolan to see me talking to him. I really just didn't want them to see me.

        Periods two and three went by quicker than I'd hope, and I found myself walking slowly towards the cafeteria alone. My eyes landed on our lunch table as soon as I entered the cafeteria. Veronica was there with the rest of the guys. Nolan was sitting between Jason and Craig, and Derek was on the far end, away from Veronica.

        I still felt bad for him. The way Veronica had treated him was awful; I knew he had really liked her, but she did what she always did. She was with him until he found something better.

        "Hey, Kar," a person said softly, and I recognized the voice as Charlotte's. I turned slightly, letting her step up beside me in the lunch line. "Ronnie told us what happened," she started, her expression one of sympathy. "I'm really sorry. If you want somebody to talk to who will actually pay attention," she added with a smile, "I'm always here."

        I laughed weakly, grabbing a tray for my food. "Thank you," I smiled, thankful that Charlotte had joined me. In two minutes, she'd made me feel better than Veronica had in the few hours we spent talking.

        She didn't say anything else when we were in line, but once we started walking towards the table, she looked at me, "Are you okay with sitting here?" she asked.

        "Yeah, I'll be fine," I said. It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't exactly a lie. I wasn't going to break down just because I was sitting with Nolan, but it wasn't going to be comfortable.

        Charlotte and I swapped seats, putting me at the end of the row. At the moment, I wasn't sure if I minded. I was left out of most of the conversation and Nolan was far enough away where I made it through lunch in one piece.

        After that, the rest of the day dragged on, and when the last bell rang, I wanted to groan, knowing I was headed to work instead of home. I was exhausted, and I felt that if I went home, I'd fall asleep easily.

        My mom picked me up after school and drove me to work, and after I assured her that the day was fine, she left. I felt a little hope when no one else was there except for the lady that had worked the previous shift. She stayed while I changed and then ledt. For the moment, I was alone, but then the door opened.

        The optimistic part of me thought it was a customer, but the other part knew better. I tried to keep my expression the same as Rian came behind the counter, his eyes on me. I prayed he'd ignore me, but my luck wasn't good recently, so why change it now?

        "Kara, I really want to talk to you," he started slowly, while keeping his distance at the other end of the counter. I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, pressing my lips together before turning to look at him.

        "I take it you won't take no for an answer," I said coolly, leaning against the counter. He didn't seem surprised at my slightly hostile tone. Instead, he took a few steps forward and stopped.

        "I know that I kind of, in a way, caused you and Nolan to break up, or at least, I caused the fight that led you to break up, and I"m really sorry." He said quickly. "I figured you were ignoring me because of your friends, so I was tring to keep my distance from you. I know I could have asked someone else for the homework but I didn't think asking you would be as big a problem as it turned out to me."

        "Okay," I said, cutting him off. He stopped, either waiting for me to say something, or thinking of how to respond. "You don't need to apologize," I sighed, waving my hand slightly. "Obviously you didn't mean any harm in asking me. I don't blame you for anything. We broke up because I was tired of him putting his hostile feelings twoards you guys before his feelings for me. I was tired of the drama."

        "That still makes it sound like my fault," he said, and I shook my head quickly.

        "It's not, really. If it's anyone's fault, it'd be Alex's or Jack's, not yours. I don't blame anyone. It just wasn't working, okay?" I said strongly, and Rian nodded, turning away from me as the bell rang. A couple of underclassmen walked in, a group of boys and girls.

        This place has always been a popular place for kids to go after school to hang out, so I wasn't surprised when kids from school showed up.

        I hung back as Rian took their orders, taking a moment to watch him and think. He really wasn't a bad guy, and I knew that he felt responsible for Nolan and me. I didn't want him to, though. Was I still upset? Of course I was, but I didn't feel right blaming him when he had no idea what he was doing. He may have triggered something, but in the end, it all came down to Nolan, his ego and his temper.