(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 47: Spineless

        I felt strange, having more time to myself after school. For the next week or two I managed to barely even glance in Rian's direction. He was resentful to me as well, I could tell by the way he positioned his body away from mine in class, how his shoulder was down and he only spoke to the kid to his right. I guess he didn't feel the need to tell me more lies.

        Even if I really wanted to hate him, and I so wished that he would never look in my direction for the rest of my life. But all at once, I missed him so much more than anyone could ever realize. I missed his smile; I missed the sound and tone of his voice. I missed everything that I thought he was.

        I didn't really find myself trying to hang out with the girls after everything that happened, either. I often spent time in my room, reading and doing my homework. Jay and Charlotte called me multiple times to go out and do something, but I just couldn't get myself to do it.

        Today was different. Veronica had let herself into my house, and she didn't even seem to see that there was something wrong with me. She just walked into my room with a bag of chips from my pantry and started to tel me about how annoying Sam was now a days. I barely listened, nodding in all the right places when she spoke as I did my lit homework.

        "So you know how your parents are going out of wotn in a few weeks?" Ronnie was beating around the bush, biting her lips lightly and glancing at me with a smile.

        "What about it?" I asked, flipping through my required reading to find quotes for my next paper. She sighed, pulling the book away from me and settin g her jaw. She was angry I wasn't paying attention, and she wasn't going to give my book back until I did. "Why, Ronnie?"

        "I think you should have a party," she said with a confident smile, pulling on the bottom of her low-cut sweater. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head and laughing.

        "I don't think so," I said lightly, pulling out my binder and stating to focus on my homework again. Veronica's bright eyes were irritated with my lack of response. She didn't want the party because she wanted me to have it; she wanted the party so she could find a new boyfriend.

        It was sad the way Rian allowed me to see the real intentions behind Veronica's actions. I would never have understood it unless he was there to show me. I felt like a straner to things that used to be so normal. I hated it.

        "Oh, come on," she said quickly, voice biting. "The girls kept telling me that you wouldn't do it because you were too much of a chicken. But I told them over and over you'd do it because you're not spineless. Come on, don't let them be right."       

        I looked up at her in confusion. The girls think that I'm cowardly? Do I really look like that to them?

        "Fine," I said in defeat, throwing my hands in the air. It caused a bright smile on her mouth, flourescent teeth glowing in satisfaction. She put a chip into her mouth, wiping her hands on the top of her dark jeans. I tried to ignore the way the crumbs fell onto my bedspread.

        "Good," she said, licking her fingers.

        There was a knock on my door, and it opened slowy. Veronca and my eyes were on the threshold, seeing an identical pair of eyes meeting mine. I felt myself smile - Brenda.

        "You need to go home, we're having dinner," Brenda said to Veronica in a bored and uninterested tone. Ronnie rolled her eyes and snorted at the thought before getting up and leaving my room without even a goodbye. She pused past my sister, and it caused Brenda to roll her eyes the same way back.

        Brenda entered my room, shutting the door behind herself. "I really don't understand when she started to act like such a bitch."

        "She isn't," I defended in a soft voice. I was too tired to argue with her about it. She watched me as she sat down in my computer chair. She stayed silent while I continued to work on my homework, not paying much attention to hear her to care that she was looking.

        "What's up with you?" Brenda finally broke the silence, breathing out as she spoke. I finally glanced at her face, noticing that she'd lost weight. Her dark hair framed her face, freckles sprinkled across her cheekbones.

        "Nothing," I said quietly, looking at my things once again. I didn't want to have this conversation with Brenda, not about Rian. I didn't want her to know how messed up I really am. She didn't know I was such an awful person when she was the golden child.

        "You look like someone sucked the life out of you," she said gently, concern seeping through her words. I bit the inside of my cheek, looking up at her and shaking my head.

        "I'm really fine, Bren. Don't worry about it," I whispered so quietly I'm sure she could barely hear me. I was scared that if I spoke loud enough, she would notice the way my voice cracked.

        "Okay, but if you need anything, you know where to find me." She sighed, standing from my chair and moving towards the door again. She mentioned that dinner was done, and to come down. I nodded as she closed the door, feeling the sting in my heart once again.

        I wanted the pain to go away. I didn't want to care for Rian so much anymore.