(1) Talk Me Down: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 48: Confession

        I felt as if I had a permanent headache from school lately, always in the front of my mind. I was constantly taking Advil, hoping to relieve the pain that would never subside. Maybe it was everything in my life was stressing me out to no end, or maybe the act that I was getting sick of every single one of my friends voices. They were constantly buzzing around me, and it felt like too much. I was suddenly wondering how I spent days on end with the girls, because now being with them after school for the third day in a row seemed like a chore.

        So while sitting in Veronica's room at four in the afternoon on a Wednesday, I constantly rubbed the side of my head. Ava's obnoxious laugh from whatever story Ronnie was telling made me wince in pain. Was it always that loud, or was that my imagination?

        Veronica's walls even seemed a bit much today, the pink was too bright and the sparkley picture frames had too much sparkle. The chips that Sophia and Jay were crunching on annoyed me, and I wanted to throw the bowl across the room in frustration.

        I wasn't sure where all my built up anger was coming from, but I hated it. I hated that nothing was the same anymore, and I just felt better. I wasn't sure where the change had occurred, but it pissed me off to no end. I just wanted things to go back to normal, to be happy with where I was and not question every little thing that one of the girls say. I didn't want to be like this anymore.

        Veronica was in the middle of some story, causing giggles from Sophia as well. I wasn't paying any attention to what the girls were saying, I was focused on Jay's profile while she smiled softly and I couldn't believe what Alex had done to her. I couldn't believe that he took advantage of her; he took something away from her that she could never have back. He promised her things just to get her in bed.

        I hadn't realized how much she'd changed in the last few months, how little I cared to noticed until this moment. It just showed how unconcerned I was with my friends until recently, when I thought I was being taught how to really care for someone again.

        Regardless of how Rian treated me, he did teach me some things about being a good friend and person. I don't think I could have forgotten any of them if I tried.

        Her dark hair was pulled up into a half ponytail, half bun. She had bags under her eyes, and her skin seemed less radiant. It was almost like he took some of the light from her eyes, from her appearance. And even if it seemed so dramatic for a girl almost out of high school, it hurt all the time. It kills to know that you give up everything for a person, to the point where there is nothing else to give, and they turn away from you.

        "Question," I stated, rather than asked. Veronica's voice subsided, landing on me in annoyance. I knew she hated it when I interrupted her stories, but I didn't care. "When was anyone going to tell me what Alex did to Jay?"

        Veronica's eyes faltered for just a moment as she glared in Charlotte's direction. It was like I found out a secret that she was keeping from me on purpose. I just didn't understand why they didn't tell me about it, why they didn't mention it to me. I was sure that was some of the reason that they didn't like the group, and I didn't get why I wasn't allowed to know.

        "It never really came up," Sophia asked softly, looking away from the group. I could tell that she was feeling awkward by her posture, how she was hiding her face with her bangs.

        "Guys, come on. I was obviously the only one that didn't know, why didn't someone tell me?" I glanced at Ava, who looked at Veronica for an answer. I didn't even bother to look for Jay for any kind of response. I didn't want her to have to tell me. I'm sure it took a lot out to tell one person here, and whoever that person was, was the one that had told everyone besides me.

        "Because it didn't seem important to tell you," Veronica said quickly. "Jay told me, and it just happened that the other girls were around when she said it and they found out. We didn't feel like we needed to tell you because either way, you would have always taken our side anyways."

        "That doesn't even make sense," I said to her, eyebrows coming together. Veronica didn't bother to explain any further, waving off my statement with her hand.

        "Well, obviously you would have taken our side if you knew. But Jay didn't want a bunch of people knowing, so I kept it to a minimum. And I could - I could relate to her, I knew the feeling so I didn't say anything."

        She watched all of us with close eyes as we started at her in uncertaintly. She could relate? How?

        She paused, taking in our expressions before continuing. "That other friend -- the one hooking up with Katie, he tricked me at a party a few months ago before Jay was tricked by Alex.."

        I felt the beating of my heart begin to speed up, my throat felt tight. Veronica's light but fierce eyes never left mine as I began to feel like I was drowning all over again. My breathing felt labored, and I noticed the way that Charlotte's fingers tensed in anger.

        "Why didn't you ever tell us, Ronnie?" Ava gasped, reaching for her hand. She brushed some tears from her eyes, but with no emotion behind them. I didn't understand if she was hiding the fact that she was hurt, or if she was just over it.

        "Because I felt like an idiot," her eyes fell on me again, licking her plump lips with a deep breath. "I mean, he said all this crap to me. He told me all about how I was better than all you girls, and that I should hang out with his friends. I bought it, I was drunk, and I bought it."

        I wanted to be alone, I watned to leave and go home. I didn't need to be here anymore, I'd heard enough. I knew that Rian was no different from Nolan. He used me, and then left when he had the chance. I felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes and I rubbed them vigorously. I was trying to play it off as frustration with what just happened.

        But inside, I just wanted to die.

        All of the times that he told me I was special, all of the sweet comments about how much better I could do, they were lies. He was just trying to at like Alex, he was trying to get an easy in, and then leave before the sun comes up. He was the same as every other guy at school. Every other self-absorbed douche bag. I couldn't believe that I ever thought that he was good for me, that he might just be worth leaving my friends for.

        "He tried to be all fucking innocent, like he wasn't the same douche as his friends. All he did was fuck me and leave right after," she whispered, giving a loud sigh.

        "Alex was so nice," Jay murmured sotly, finally speaking for the first time. "He told me how beautiful he was, how sweet I was. He fed me the same shit, trying to get in my pants and I let him."

        "That's whay I can't stand any of them," Veronica said in a furious tone, resentment in every word. "They aren't worth the time of day, because they are all whores, and they can all drop dead for all I care."

        All I could do is nod in response, unable to do anything else. My thoughts were drowning in the blazing pain in my chest, making me want to break down more than I already had.