His Story To Tell (R-18)

HSTT - 50

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I fell on the floor when I remembered everything. Everything that happened to our house. When her true mom, Tita Heather was killed, next was my father, my mom and her...

Why can't I say it?!

"Ikaw dapat 'yon, hindi si Jowana." He said and I felt a lot of pain in my heart.

He is still accusing me and blaming me for a thing that I didn't do. It wasn't my fault! Ate Jowana saved me and offered her self instead of me being raped. I will always be thankful of that because she sacrificed herself. Kung ako ang nandoon, maybe I am not even alive anymore.

"Mahal mo ba ako?" Tanong ko habang nanginginig ang mga kamay ko. "Kasi kung oo, bakit hanggang ngayon ako pa rin ang sinisisi mo?"

"Sino ba ang dapat kong sisihin, Rej?"

"Then why did you let us to be in this kind of relationship?!" I shouted at napasabunot ako sa buhok ko.

Bakit niya ako inakit?! Bakit niya hinayaang magkalapit kami nang ganito?!

"I made a promise at ginawa ko lang kung anong pinangako ko."

"Bullshit!" Sigaw ko.

"Kaya umuwi ka na. Hindi na kita kailangan. I'm done." He said and it made my heart aches again.

"How could you be this cruel? Nawalan ako ng mga magulang. I witnessed everything. It traumatized me, Kuya. I was there when your Mom was killed. I was there when Ate Jowana was being raped in front of us. Sana..." Huminga ako nang malalim. "Sana hindi mo nalang ginawa kung anong pinangako mo sa akin kung sa bandang huli ay sisisihin mo rin pala ako."

Pinunasan ko ang luha sa mga mata ko.

"Ngayon naiintindihan ko na kung bakit sila alam ang tungkol sa'yo. Kung bakit hindi nila sinasabi ang kwento mo. Kung bakit sinasabi nila sa akin na hindi ka para sa akin, na masama ka para sa akin. Gets ko na. Kuhang kuha ko na."

"Umalis ka na." He said. "Now that you know everything, I know you don't want me anymore."

Tinayo ako ni Kuya Luke mula sa pagkaka upo ko at inalalayan ako.

"Let's go." He said at tumulo ng pa ulit ulit ang mga luha ko.

"Sandali lang." I said at Kuya Luke at lumapit ako kay Kuya Ryoga. Hinawakan ko ang dalawang kamay niya.

"Sabihin mo lang na hindi ako ang sinisisi mo sa pagkawala niya, hinding hindi ako aalis. Hinding hindi kita iiwan." Hinawakan ko ang pisngi niya pero iniwas niya ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Tell me. Just tell me and I'll stay until your worst."

"I'm sorry. Just go."

"Sabihin mo sa akin. Please! I promise, hinding hindi kita iiwan." Mas hinigpitan ko ang pagkaka hawak ko sa kamay niya and he took the courage to look at me.

"I'm still blaming you."

"M-minahal mo ba talaga a-ako?" Tanong ko sakaniya at hinanda ko na ang sarili ko sa magiging sagot niya.

"I just did what I promised to you." He said and that broke every inch of me.

Bumitaw ako sa pagkaka hawak ko sakaniya at para akong nilalamon ng sobrang sakit. Hindi makapaniwala sa sagot na narinig ko.

"Do you...still love her?"

"Hindi naman nawala 'yun."

"E paano ako? Anong naging papel ko sa'yo?! Ha?! You told me that you love me! You made me feel that you love me!"