lux, remus lupin¹ ✔

XIX. LOVE

LOVE!

NOVEMBER 1976

6th Year

• • • •

Holland was up all night thinking about the night prior, thoughts racing through her mind. Insecurities worrying that Remus was losing interest in her, or he realised that her being a Slytherin and him being a Gryffindor was doomed to fail, and other similar thoughts invaded her mind that night.

It was in the early hours of the morning that she had come to the conclusion that she really liked Remus. Really, really liked him. And she knew she didn't want anything to ruin what they had right now. And at the end of the day Holland trusted Remus, and was sure that when she needed to know what was going on, he would tell her.

Remus let out a relieved sigh as a tired looking Holland entered the Room of Requirement, "There you are," He said, giving the girl a tight hug, "I started to get worried, thought you weren't coming."

"Yeah, sorry, I just had a lot of homework to finish." Holland told the boy, hugging him back.

"It's just yesterday you were acting quite weird." Remus said, pulling away from the hug.

Holland gave him a smile, "I've just had a lot on my mind, that's all."

Remus smiled back, "Understandable," He said, taking her hand and leading her to the sofa, "There's um, there's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

Holland looked at him, worried.

Remus saw this and quickly shook his head, "No, don't worry, it's nothing bad," He told her, making the girl relax, "I mean, it might be, it depends on how you look at it."

"Remus, you're scaring me." The Irish girl said, looking at her boyfriend.

"Right, sorry, well, I've been thinking about this for a long time and, well, um." He stammered.

"Remus," Holland took his hands in hers, stopping his rambling, "You know you can tell me anything."

Remus took a deep breath, "I love you." He told her.

Holland stared at him, lips parted in shock.

"W-What?"

"I love you." Remus repeated.

"N-No you don't," Holland shook her head, "Y-You can't l-l," She sighed, "Feel that way about me."

It was Remus' turn to look confused, "What do you mean?"

"It's-It's just," Holland fumbled over wording, "No-one's ever-." She cut her self off, looking down with a sigh.

"No-one's ever told you they love you before?" Remus asked, shocked.

Holland shook her head, "No. Not really, anyway," The Slytherin told him, "I really care for you Remus. I really, really do. It's just. I don't know what l- what that feels like."

Remus put his finger under the Irish girl's chin, tilting her head up to look at him, "That's okay," He told her, "Take your time."

Holland's eyes widened, "R-Really."

Remus leaned forwards and softly pecked her lips, "Really. And besides, maybe I can help you find out what it feels like."

Holland nodded, "I'd really like that."

Remus smiled, as Holland wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling safe and comforted in his embrace, like always. The worries of the past two days gone.

***

Holland stood in front of her friend, relaying the accounts of the day, rather than going to the feast.

"And you don't love him?" Helena Ravenclaw asked the girl.

"I don't know," Holland answered, "I really, really like him. He makes me feel safe, happy. And I know that I don't want to lose him."

Helena gave her a kind smile, "That sounds a lot like love to me, Holland." She told the student softly.

"I'm scared, Helena." Holland told the ghost, crossing her arms.

"I'd consider you foolish if you weren't," Helena said, "To love someone is a terrifying, but incredibly brave thing to do. One should never take the emotion of love lightly."

"Do you think I'll know, Helena?" The Irish girl questioned, "Do you think I'll feel it?"

Helena nodded, "I absolutely do, Holland. Don't fret. This boy seems patient and understanding. He loves you, I'm certain of it. And he sounds really special."

Holland nodded, smiling, "He is. He really, really is."

Helena looked softly at the girl, "Give it time, Holland, and trust in both me and yourself. You'll know."