one of the boys » david dobrik au

thirty eight

tw // sexual assault of a minor (not detailed) . Please do not read this if that will trigger you

The next week was absolutely perfect. It's hard to explain without being repetitive, but in my eyes, there was nothing David could do wrong. We were together all the time, and though it definitely annoyed most of our friends, it just felt wrong when I wasn't with him. I felt like we were growing closer and closer, but there was still something holding us back.

David never talked about his family or his life before college... ever. I understood that it was a sensitive subject, and I was surprised he even brought it up with me before Thanksgiving considering how much Zane told me he never talked about it, but it was something I needed to know about.

It was eating me alive. I felt like I knew everything and nothing about him at the same time. I learned a lot, though, more than I ever imagined I would, one night at the house.

We were alone for once, and David was making me a quesadilla before we watched something on Netflix. He sat down with me on the couch, and I thanked him for the food, smiling when he leaned in to kiss me.

"You're a little sweetie pie," I smiled, running my hands through his hair. He stiffened, his face going blank and his eyes looking far away. "What's wrong?"

"Don't say that again," his voice was shaky. Something was seriously up.

"David, what's wrong?" I cupped his face though he refused to look at me, and that's when I noticed tears in his eyes. "Oh my god, what'd I do?"

"I don't want to tell you," he was speaking so softly I could barely hear him. "I never told anyone here. I don't want you to look at me different."

"Love, you don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable, but nothing you could say could make me look at you any different. I love you," I smiled to try and calm him down, which seemed to help. He didn't look any better, but he stopped fidgeting with his fingers so much.

"Remember how I told you I lived with my aunt when my mom got arrested?"

"Yeah."

"She... I don't even know how to say it," his brows furrowed like a little kid. "She used to do stuff to me."

"What do you mean? Like, hit you?"

He looked me in the eyes, his waterline rimmed with tears, and it hit me all at once that that was not what he meant.

"No..." I gasped, my entire heart splitting in half as I watched him fail to meet my gaze.

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, and in that moment, I saw him as a little kid. An innocent little kid she ruined. I saw a hurt, confused, scared young boy and all I wanted to do was cry for him. "Feels like my fault. I was old enough to stop her if I tried. It was sort of my fault."

"Don't even fucking say that," I pulled him into my chest and held him tightly like no one ever did. And also so he wouldn't see me crying and feel pitied. "Don't even say that. That's not your fault. That was never your fault. God, I want to fucking kill someone."

"Don't kill anyone. And stop crying, please. You're making me cry."

"I can't," I sniffled. "You are the sweetest, most angelic boy I've ever met, and you don't deserve that."

"No one deserves that," he sniffled.

"I know. But especially you," I pressed him tighter to my chest. "If I ever fucking see her, I'm going to go apeshit on her. I'm going to rip her arms out of her socket like a fucking wild gorilla."

"I don't doubt that," he half laughed, though none of this was remotely funny. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you. I don't want you to be upset. She just... sweetie pie. She used to call me sweetie pie, so... I don't like it."

"I'm so glad you told me," I kissed him on the top of the head. "I'm sorry; I won't ever say that again. I love you. You are the best person I know, and I mean that. And I'm sorry I'm crying, but that breaks my fucking heart, dude."

"I love you, too," he sighed in my chest. "I love you. You're the only person who makes me feel right, Mill. The only fucking person."

My heart swelled at that. We ditched the movie and laid on the couch in silence, my hand softly stroking his hair. Every now and then, I'd tell him I loved him. Every now and then, he'd tell me he loved me too.

"What's your favorite feeling?" he asked randomly, after a few hours of laying doing nothing.

"What do you mean?"

"Like... you ever just do something and it feels so good? Not in a sexual way. Like, you are just content with something. What's your favorite feeling?

"It used to be sitting on my kitchen counter in front of the window when the sun is shining through. It just feels like a hug, you know?"

"Used to be? What is it now?"

"You," I smiled. "Just... being near you. Makes me feel so warm and happy inside. Turns me straight to mush. What's yours?"

"This," he snuggled further into me. "I love you."

"I love you, too. I think you're the first person I've ever actually fallen in love with."

"Really?" he raised his head to look at me. "What about Brandon?"

"Not him," I shook my head. "That wasn't a relationship. It never was. It was me giving everything and him giving nothing. There was never real love there. But you... I love you."

"Can I tell you something? Since we're being cheesy?"

"Sure."

"I think we were always meant to find each other," his cheeks turned a little pink as he said it. "If we didn't meet now, it'd be later. We're just meant to be together. I know it."

I didn't tell him then, but I knew we'd be together forever. It was that exact moment I knew. It was inevitable, really. He was right.

We were meant to find each other. My entire life was preparing me for David Dobrik. Whoever was up there, God or the gods or the keeper of the Universe or whoever was in charge of this... they knew what they were doing. They brought us both through hell to make us happy.

Kind of made me want to make an offering. All I could do was smile and say thank you.

Breaking and repairing my own heart in one chapter <3 i love them so much

Xoxo abby