Left Behind 2: Illusions (A Dramione Romance)

Caring

Hello Dear readers, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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Sleep was not Draco's friend that evening.

Try as he might to close out the world Goyle's words had circled in his head like sharks around a kill, taking little bites out of him with each passing loop.

What little sleep he had was filled with a myriad of visions from his past. His fathers cane, the night of the tower, Crabbe's screams...and Hermione hurt at his own hand.

When light began to stream in through his window Draco was happy for the distraction of tasks that needed to be done-of problems that he could try to solve and focus on in order to keep his mind from the endless spiral the night had created.

He showered, trying to wash the nightmares away.

His skin felt dirty.

His soul felt the same.

That part of him that had grown over the last few weeks because of Hermione's presence in his family's manor-the part that was showing him good and bad were not the same as what he had been taught as right and wrong-leeched at him berating him for who he had been and all he had done.

A part of him wished he had never grown to know the difference, to be able to see how flawed he was and how damaged his thinking had been.

When he came back from the shower he looked to Hermione. Even looking at her felt wrong.

He so desperately wanted her to tell him that the voices inside his head were wrong, that he was not evil, that he was not past redemption. He dared not ask her to say it though, because what if she told him no.

What if she saw what he saw...the monster.

He didn't want her to look at him as if he were a monster.

Breakfast, he told himself. You need to make them breakfast.

Draco prepped food in a daze, his years of experience allowing him to make something decent without even really being there at all. His hands and wand moved almost of their own volition; mechanical.

It was just enough to keep his mind blank.

Blissfully numb to the thoughts.

Draco levitated the plates back to the room all the while his eyes focused somewhere else of in the distance, staring into a void.

Hermione was there waiting for him fully dressed and sitting cross legged on her pallet. 

She looked so perfect, patiently waiting there. As if she were waiting for him.

Draco glanced at the clock. It was still quite early for her and Draco wondered if he had woken her when he had left.

"Why do you have three plates?" she asked looking at him quizically. "Are we expecting someone else?"

Draco froze her words snapping him out of his Daze.

He looked over at the floating tray which carried three meals and three drinks. He had been so out of it he didn't realize he had been completely oblivious.

You idiot! he mentally screamed at himself.  Anyone walking through the house could have seen that-you're lucky it was only Hermione who noticed.

"Draco?"

"I'm sorry..." he shook his head.

"Draco, what's wrong?" she was on her feet in an instant and nearly beside him.

"That was stupid of me," he said more to himself than her. He was so tired.

That was reckless, unacceptable. Don't you dare endanger her by being so stupid.

"Draco," she touched his arm and he yanked himself away.