Left Behind 2: Illusions (A Dramione Romance)

Honesty

"If this is the best of you then I pity anyone who has to deal with the worse."

Her words sliced into him sharper than the knife wound she had inflicted on him.

Fuck.

Draco swallowed and took a deep breath.

All the fight went out of him.

He didn't want to fight with her. He didn't want to hurt her and she was right...she deserved better. She had to deal with his worse. She had been beneath his wand as he cursed her. 

"Yeah, well apparently you have to deal with that worse part too," he said lowly. "I told you I was a monster remember, right before you kissed me." 

His chest felt tight and he tried to loosen it with a half shrug

"What does that say about the both of us?" he added lamely, feeling so very tired.

Draco watched as the wind and fire went out of her sails. It didn't chance the fact that she was clearly still frustrated with him.

"You can't keep yo-yoing like this on me Draco," she said half stern, half comforting.

"You think I like being in less than perfect control?" he asked and shook his head.

I hate It, he answered silently.

I can't stand what you do to me.

You make everything worse.

She also makes everything better, his mind countered.

She makes you better. 

It was the truth. She did make him better.  Yet there was a pain in being better... was like a growing pain, aching and throbbing inside his very bones.

Silence hung between them like a lingering fog.

Draco rubbed the back of his neck searching for a way to just back away from the conversation, from the memories, from everything.

"I know you don't like how things are Draco," said Hermione breaking the silence.  "So let's make things a little more simple."

Wariness crept into Draco's spine.

What did she have in mind?

"I'm listening," he said out loud crossing his arms over his chest and feeling the pain of the cut on his chest as he did so.

"Can we please agree to just both try and get through this as a team?" her eyebrows knit together pleading up at him. "I won't kiss you again," she said with conviction. "I'm sorry I overstepped my bounds with that." She paused. "And I'll do my best to pretend to hate you in front of everyone else and put on a good show," she added lamely to the end. "Okay?"

"Fine," he answered flatly.

She shouldn't kiss you anyways no matter how much you want it. 

It's not safe for her.

It wasn't safe for her because of how much that kiss had meant to him before he recognized it for what it really was. He knew it would only make things harder for him to keep his own feelings in check. He already had a hard enough time hurting her to save her. He couldn't imagine what it would be like if he got used to kissing her and then had to hurt her again...He wasn't sure if he could do it...even to save her life.

"And..." Hermione said grabbing his attention back.

Draco blinked. He had clearly been staring off.

"And what?" he asked leaving his train of thoughts behind.

"And I want you to promise to be honest with me from this point forward."

Her words struck him.

Honesty.

Honesty was not something that his family was known for. It was not something Slytherin house was known for-though there were many good and honest Slyerthin's- It was also not something that Draco was exactly known for...

I can't promise that, he thought. There is no way that I can promise that.

"Why on earth would you ask me for that?" he demanded, shocked at her request.

"Because you asked me if I trusted you and I told you I did," she answered. "But in order to keep trusting you I need to know that you will be honest with me."

"You don't want the truth," he scowled.

"Yes I do," she answered.

You really don't, he answered back mentally.

"No woman wants the truth," he said rolling his eyes.

You don't want to know that I dream of you.

That I think of you, even when you're not around

That I would do almost anything to protect you.

That you are changing me in ways I don't even understand.

Draco shook away the thoughts.

"That's bullshit Draco," it was Hermione's turn to cross her arms over her chest. "Some women do actually want people to be honest with them."

"And the same women who say that turn around and get mad the second you answer whether or not you like the new purse they got," Draco countered. "I've had my share of women. I should know."

Hermione's cheeks turned crimson in a blush that, judging by the fact that she was no longer meeting his eyes, had less to do with anger and more to do with embarrassment at thinking of him and sex.

"That's..." Draco looked heavenward.

Merlin's beard Granger, you saw me in school. You know how I was. You don't have to blush like that just because I mention having experience with women in the past.

Draco looked back at Granger trying to get back some control of things.

So she wanted honesty.

That was nice in theory, not in practice.

Even if Hermione was the exception-which he wasn't about to believe despite the fact that she was an exception for him in so many other ways-there were other things about him being honest to consider.

"Let's say I believe you are the exception and actually want honesty," he shook his head. "it doesn't change the fact that I can't be honest in front of the dark Lord and his followers," Draco amended." I can't even be honest around my mother right now."

"Be honest around me."

"I just said-"

"Just around me," she cut him off. "If you have to lie and say something horrible in front of them then do it. But please swear to me that you'll at least give me the truth when we are alone."

He looked down at her dark eyes.

"Please."

-

They say open and honest communication is key for a good relationship...

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave some love if you did.