I Will Survive

8

A week passed, Regina and Emma came storming out of the blondes bed. The pair were arguing and shouting at each other, both furious.

"Stop promising me you are going to go if you never do" Regina snapped, glaring at her girlfriend in annoyance.

"Stop acting like this is easy, it's not! I have enough voices in my head telling me I'm not trying hard enough, I don't need yours as well" Emma huffed, storming out her bedroom. Regina looked annoyed as she followed the blonde out, into the open apartment space. "Just get out, Regina"

"No, you can't kick me out when I'm trying to help you" Regina said in an angry tone, looking at the blonde like she's crazy.

"I can, it's my apartment" Emma shrugged, gesturing to the door with a glare.

"No, ok, no! You can't do that when I'm just trying to help you" Regina angrily said, standing her ground as she refused to move.

"WELL I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT!"

"YES YOU DID! YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T DO IT ALONE"

"That doesn't mean I want your help, you don't get it. Regina, you grew up in a perfect house and lived your perfect life, you don't get what it's like to be me" Emma snapped, slamming her front door shut as she looked at her.

"Perfect life? My parents died when I was young, I got sent to live with a grandmother who also died a few years later and THEN I was sent to live with my mean aunt. To top all that off, I got diagnosed with cancer at the age of 16 while being told I may survive. I get your life was hard, maybe harder than mine, but don't ever say I lived a perfect life" Regina angrily snapped, glaring at the woman in front of her.

"I'd still take yours over mine, MY MOTHER ACTUALLY TRIED TO MURDER ME! Compared to me, your life is perfect"  Emma yelled, her pain becoming anger inside of her.

"Just because our lives were different, doesn't make yours worse than mine. I had a shit life too, not just you. Just let me and the world help you, you promise you'd try" Regina sighed in annoyance, trying to keep herself calm but not doing a good job.

"I AM TRYING"

"NO YOU ARE NOT"

"I am... You don't see how much I'm trying but I am. It's hard, ok? I've been taking drugs since I was 14 and been drinking since I was 15. It's so hard to overcome this and AA doesn't do shit at the moment" Emma said with a sigh, her voice annoyed but soft.

"Then let me help, don't inject heroin while I'm sleeping next to you" Regina snapped, knowing she woke up in a bad mood.

"I don't want your help" Emma sighed, leaning against the wall in exhaustion.

"You don't seem to want anyone's help" Regina huffed in annoyance, walking towards the blonde.

"That's not true"

"Yes it is"

"No"

"Yes"

"No!"

"Yes!"

The pair were very angry and stood close together. Regina shoved the blonde out her face, pushing past to grab the door handle. Emma turned around and pinned the brunette up against the wall, holding her by her shoulders.

"Don't tell me I'm lying" Emma threatened with an angry glare, feeling the heated tension between them.

"Don't threaten me, swan" Regina warned with a similar glare, her palms growing sweaty.

"Then stop"

"Make me"

Those two words were a weakness to Emma, especially coming from Regina. She just looked her in the eyes, feeling herself growing more turned on. Emma crashed her lips into the brunettes, causing them both to pull each other closer. They deepened the kiss as Regina began unbuttoning Emma's jeans. She flipped them around and held the blonde against the door, a tight grip around her unzipped jeans. She then stopped, looked at the blonde with anger and pushed off of her.

"What are you doing" Emma asked in confusion, pushing herself off the door.

"I told you I'd never sleep with you whilst you're high" Regina simply replied, turning to walk away. Emma grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, holding her close to her body. "Swan"

"That's not fair" Emma said with an angry look, her voice gentle but angry.

"No, I think it is fair! You want to sleep with me again, get sober" Regina snapped, moving the blonde out the way so she could leave.

"Where are you going" Emma sighed as she pushed the door shut.

"Home" Regina replied in annoyance, trying to pull the door back open.

"You wouldn't leave earlier but now I want you here, you want to leave" Emma questioned in annoyance, not allowing the door to open.

"I didn't want to leave half way through our fight" Regina replied, dropping the door handle as she knew to wait. She looked at the blonde in defeat, sighing as her eyes teared up. "I can't do this anymore, I'm done"

"With the fight" Emma asked, hoping that is what was meant by the brunette. Regina just looked at her, not saying anything. "Gina, with the fight?"

"With us... I'm tired of trying harder than you are" Regina softly sighed, knowing all they do is fight about the blonde getting sober.

"I am trying! I'm trying so hard for you because I love you and you don't even see it" Emma snapped, slamming her wrist against the wall in anger.

"What did you just say" Regina asked in shock, looking at the blonde stood close to her.

"I'm trying so hard for you" Emma replied a little confused, her annoyance being lost in her sentence.

"No, after that"

"You don't even see it"

"Before that" Regina said with a slight sigh, still too shocked to even feel happy.

"I love you" Emma softly replied, giving a small smile to her girlfriend as she brushed hair out her face.

"No one has ever loved me" Regina said with disbelief in her voice, not wanting to believe it.

"Well I love you and I'm doing all this because I love you" Emma admits, stepping closer to hold her girlfriends face.

"No, don't" Regina quickly said, pulling her body away in shock. "You're high as fuck, you'll say anything to make me stay with you"

"No I won't"

"Yes you will, I have to go. Don't call me" Regina cut in, quickly pulling the door open and stepping out.

"No, Gina" Emma called out, chasing the speed walking brunette out the apartment. She stopped as she watched her rush down the stairs, knowing she lost her now. "Gina!"

Regina just chose to ignore her and rush out, her eyes welling with tears. She quickly got into her car and pulled it open. She drove off as soon as she could, not waiting a single second. The brunette sped down the road until she got to her house, parking the car but not getting out. Regina just began crying, her heart chocking in her throat. Her feelings for Emma were the same, maybe even stronger, but she doesn't know if she is strong enough for all of that with her secret hanging on her shoulders.