I Will Survive

17

Later that day, Regina was sat on the sofa with Rex and Emma. All of them were trying to watch a movie but their minds were all over the play, worrying what will happen to Regina. Emma was so scared that she was starting to shake a little as her mind told her more and more scenarios that would play out.

"Hey, you ok" Regina softly asked, placing her hand over the blondes arm to stop the shaking.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to grab a drink quick" Emma quickly replied, standing up from the sofa and heading out the room in one motion.

"I'm going to run to the toilet quick" Rex said as he stood up, following the blonde out the room. He felt concerned at what she was going to do. As he walked into the kitchen, he saw Emma pouring herself a glass of whiskey. "Em, don't. You worked too hard to throw it away now"

"When I'm this stressed, I need whiskey" Emma said in a panicked voice, lifting the glass from the island.

"Emma, come on, you're better than this" Rex said in a stern voice, walking closer towards her.

"I'm not, I'm not strong enough for this. I had hope that this day would never come; I never prepared for the fact she could die. I never thought I'd get sober and just assumed I'd die before her. I can't live without her... I'm not strong enough to deal with this" Emma said in her cracked voice, her whole body shaking in fear.

"You are, I know you are. If you drink that, everything has gone to waste. This is going to be the hardest year for all of us, especially Regina, so we have to be brave and be there for her. Emma, you are so strong and you can do this, so long as you don't drink that" Rex softly but sternly said, holding his hand towards the shaking glass. Emma was just looking at the liquid, knowing it was the one thing that always kept her calm. "Give me the glass"

As Emma's eyes teared up more, she fought her urge. After a few seconds, Emma quickly gave the man her glass. Rex placed it down and pulled Emma into his arms, holding her close as she sobbed on his shoulder.

"I can't do this" Emma sobbed, using her hands to hide the face that was already hidden from him.

"You can, it's going to be ok" Rex softly soothed, rubbing the back of the crying woman.

As he comforted the blonde, he saw his sister stood in the doorway with teary eyes. She walked over to them and held her arms out, hinting for him to give the blonde to her. Rex pulled away and turned Emma, letting her quickly embrace her girlfriend. Emma sobbed even hard being in Regina's arms, clinging to her for dear life. Rex left the room to give the pair time alone. Regina let a few tears out just hearing the painful sobs of her girlfriend.

"It's ok, baby. Just let it all out, ok" Regina softly said, rubbing her back as she held her close. She has been debating doing something for a while now and hearing Emma's cries like this pushed her to make the decision. "Go"

"What" Emma asked in confusion, not moving from her girlfriends embrace.

"Go live your life, don't stay here with me and watch me die" Regina softly said, looking at the woman sobbing on her shoulder.

"No, I can't loose you" Emma quickly said, pulling away to show the tears across her face.

"Baby, look at you. You're a mess now, what are you going to be like in a years time. It will be easier for you to leave now rather than later" Regina said in a soft voice, trying to wipe away all of the blondes tears.

"No, I'm not leaving. I love you so much" Emma quickly said, shaking her head the whole time she spoke.

"I'm not asking anymore, I'm telling. This has been the most amazing year of my life being with you. I'm so proud of you and I love you... You need to go and live your life. I promise loosing me now will be easier than in a years time" Regina cut in, still trying to wipe the blondes face dry.

"I don't want to"

"I don't want to either"

"I'm not going" Emma sternly said, shaking her head in protest.

"Em-"

"No! I won't"

Regina just looked at her with glassy eyes, seeing the pain across Emma's face. She stepped closer and placed a gentle kiss upon her lips, both holding each other close. As they pulled away, their faces remained resting on each others.

"You have to" Regina started to say, bring cut off by Emma's lips against hers.

As the kiss deepened, the women held themselves as close as possible. It was hard to know who's tears were who's anymore. Emma reached down and lifted Regina up, holding her close in her arms. They both wanted nothing more than the other. Regina started to cry a little more and pulled away, resting her head on the blondes shoulder.

"I love you" Emma said, starting to cry at the sound of the brunette crying.

"And I love you... That's why you need to go" Regina said with a cracked voice, not daring to let go of the woman.

"No"

"Yes"

"No, I wont"

"Yes, you will"

Emma went to protest but her sobs got in the way, her heart breaking in her chest. She just shook her head as she held her girlfriend close. Regina cried as she clinged to the blonde, keeping her arms and legs around her tight. Rex could hear the girls crying from the lounge, his heart hurting at the sound of it. Anyone who saw the couple knew they were perfect for each other, even with the challenges they had to face along the way. Regina finally loosed her grip and quickly jumped down, turning around and backing away.

"Gina" Emma softly said, wanting to step closer but not being able to move.

"Go! You have to go, please" Regina begged, hugging her body tight as she tried to contain herself.

Emma walked over to the island and downed the glass of whiskey. Regina looked over as she saw it, knowing it's her fault for that. Emma then stormed out the room and straight out the house, slamming the door shut. Regina dropped to the floor, gripping her chest as she felt her heart hurting. Rex came into the room, seeing her broken on the floor. He bent down and held her close, already knowing everything that had happened. Regina cried in her brother's arm, she was in pain but she didn't regret her live changing decision.
___________________________________________

"Regina, the cancer is spreading still but we have hope" Dr Green said, standing beside Dr Hart as he sat at his desk.

"I don't have hope! How can I have hope" Regina huffed, pacing back and forth as she began stressing.

"Because we will do this, your cancer isn't terminal yet" Dr Hart softly said, seeing the stress across her face.

"Then class it as terminal"

"We can't just"

"No, listen to me" Regina cut in, leaning against the chair as she switched her gaze between the two doctors. "I don't want any more treatment, I don't want to carry on. If I tell you that I want to stop, you have to stop" Regina said with a stern voice, showing in her face that she was sure.

"Legally yes, we will have to stop but I highly recommend you do not make that decision" Dr Hart said with shock, looking at his colleagues for her help.

"Regina, that isn't a good idea. The second we do that, you will die in a year. Even if you don't survive this, you still have years to live" Dr Green quickly added, knowing the brunette would only listen to her out of all the doctors.

"You don't get it, how could you? The thing with cancer is not what it does to you but to your family. My brother has a family business to keep up and a life to live, he's supposed to be getting drunk with his mates instead of sat in a hospital with me. As for my girlfriend, I can see the heartbreak in her eyes every day. I know me dying will break her... It will be a lot less painful for her if I die now, rather than in a few years when she wants to get married" Regina explained with a cracked voice, knowing exactly what she was risking.