Never in a Million Years ✔️

90-We'll be okay

"What's wrong?" All it takes in one look for her to know somethings up.

And I guess I don't know exactly what's up with me but it has to do with Co.

Five days.

That's all I had left.

Five days, and I'm gone.

And I can't help but think about what will be left of Co and I.

"I don't know, I just feel like things have been off between co and I," I tell my best friend as she plops beside me on the couch. "I'm probably just overthinking but honestly, I'm scared to leave him,"

"Why?" Em questions "You guys are going to be okay,"

"But what if we aren't? We're going to be miles apart, and busy as hell," I reason. I don't think I was being unreasonable for having these thoughs, am I?

"Have you talked to him about any of that?"

"No," I mumble. I was a freaked to talk to him about all of this. What if he felt the same way? What do we do from there?"

"B you have to talk to him," Em days "I know you're scared but it's better to talk about these things,"

"So much shit is changing Em," I huff

"I hate it," she nods along with me. I did too. This has been the hardest month of my life, and it feels like things have only gotten worse and worse.

"Things will be okay," I say, I don't even believe myself though.

"I hope so," she nods "you guys will be okay, no matter what,"

I just release a deep breath. The house was quiet today, it was only me and the dog, and now em.

"How're you and my brother?" I question trying to get my mind off of co.

"We're good," she smiles softly. I wonder if that's how I looked when thinking about Co. like I was completely and utterly in love. "I mean, as good as we can be I guess, we're just helping eachothr I guess,"

"You guys are so cute it's sickening," I snort. Jordan used to say the same thing about Co and I.

"I guess we are," she shrugs a smirk on her face "I really really like him B,"

"Hmm even go so far as to say you looovveee him?" I grin

"I have not used the L-word yet," she rolls her eyes but I know she's thinking it

"Just accept in Em, you're in Love with my brother. Hell I know he's in love with you,"  I nod. Thinking of them and Co, it makes me somewhat happy. I'm able for just a few seconds the thing about something other than jordan and my own guilt.

"Shut up," she covers her face as she laughs and I smile. I'm happy for them

"Okay," I grin "what are we doing today?"

"I don't really have the energy to do anything besides sleep," that's basically been me the past  month.

"Movies?" I question

"Yes,"

————————————

Em left hours ago, leaving me with my own thoughts. That's never a good idea, especially as of late.

I was stuck on our conversation earlier. I was nervous about leaving. More specifically leaving Co.

God I sound like such a typical stupid teenage girl. I'm leaving, taking this great opportunity for my future and career for fucks sake and I'm worried about my boyfriend. It's hard not to worry about my relationship though when he's so much more than just my boyfriend.