Ms. Jones, You're My Trigger (GxG)

Chapter 20

Alexis POV

Okay, stay calm. Don't be ridiculous, why are you stressing. Oh, maybe because you basically confessed to her in the spur of the moment, and now you are freaking out. Fuck it, there it goes.

I exhaled and pushed open the door to her office.

"Alexis!" Amira screamed and ran towards me. Not being able to resist the adorable girl I held her under the shoulders and swung around a couple of times.

"Hey p-p-princess," I grinned admiring her giggles - She sure could make my heart melt.

"Hey," Vanessa's slightly husky voice gave me goosebumps.

I placed Amira down and knelt in front of her so I could gently brush away loose strands of hair away from her forehead.

"You know," I began teasingly still focused on the girl. "She c-calls you Cruella de mon," I chuckled along with Amira.

I heard Vanessa scoff and before I knew it, she was leaning behind me, dangerously close to my ear, "Get up," she ordered with a growl.

I yelped surprised by her demanding behavior.

"Amira honey, Nessi has to talk to Alexis, how about you play on my phone while we have a chat?" her smooth and loving voice was like the silence before the storm.

"Yay!" Amira exclaimed and quickly tiptoed to Vanessa. The ginger-headed girl whispered something into my teacher's ear, and how I wish I knew what she was saying because she kept on looking at me with narrowed eyes.

Vanessa only hummed and told her 'okay' before handing her the phone. Once Vanessa saw her daughter was properly occupied with the game, she got up and looked at me with her stunning grey orbs. Slowly, or maybe my mind was playing tricks, and everything appeared to be in slow-motion, Vanessa walked up to me, swaying her hips ever so slightly.

I gulped feeling my heart and insides going all crazy - she sure had an effect on me.

"Eyes up Rohi," she scoffed, but instead of annoyance, I was met with a pleased expression. "So, could you tell me where you met my Amira?" she asked concerned.

"We've met at the mental h-health doctor, we only s-spoke for a few minutes, so... I d-didn't see who was with her."

Vanessa sneered. "Her fucking grandparents is who... They keep on thinking she's unstable because of the loss of her parents, but she's perfectly fine - I already had her checked. They just want to take her away from me..." she spoke more to herself than to me. I didn't understand much, it seemed to be quite a complicated situation. "Sorry..." she followed with an apology. "It's a bit complicated... anyway... how did it feel to reject someone?"

I furrowed my brows, a bit annoyed by the assumption I've turned him down.

"What if... I d-didn't?" I challenged. "Wou-would you be jealous?"

For a second, I regretted being so straightforward, because her face went all serious and quite frankly a little bit scary. "Alexis, how old do you think I am?" she suddenly asked making me feel nervous. Was that some sort of tricky question you weren't supposed to answer?

"Umm..."

She rolled her eyes at my discomfort, "I'm a twenty-seven years old woman with a child under my care, if you really think I would be jealous of a frat boy, you are strongly mistaken," she huffed slightly frustrated herself. Was she embarrassed by her age?

"I don't c-care," I remarked without thinking.

Her perfect dark brow arched, "You don't care?"

I chewed on my inner cheek and played with my fingers in distress. "No..." I said in an undertone.

"You have your entire life in front of you, and I refuse to stand in its way," she spoke firmly, hiding behind the mask.  

I felt my heartache at her words, already knowing what she was implying – I faced her with foreign anger floating through my body.

"It... it's my decision t-to make. The g-gap doesn't matter t-to me," I assured determined for her to understand.

Vanessa's expression softened and she sighed - I didn't like it, because now she looked at me as if I were a child.

"I have a child Alexis, whatever it is you think you are feeling, isn't going to last. I cannot take that risk... for Amira," each word stabbing my heart causing it to bleed further.

I gritted my teeth, fighting with the tears. It's wasn't the time to get soft, I had to remain strong.

"At least, d-don't l-l-l.." I took a deep breath, regaining the control of my wobbly voice." Don't lie," I seethed.

"And how am I lying?" she questioned with confidence. I hated this.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and got closer to her face, "You cannot t-take the risk, because of y-y-yourself, not Amira."

We stared at each other without saying a word. None of us giving up, both equally frustrated.

"I like you," I broke the silence, catching her off guard.

Vanessa's breath hitched. Three simple words were enough to break her tough interior. She was on the verge of tears, and I knew why... She was going to reject me - that defeated look in her eyes has told me everything. 

"Just.." I sniffled, "Just t-tell m-mm-me, it's not j-just m-"

"It's not," she answered hastily not allowing for me to finish. "You are the only person I ever called my Rohi," she confessed, while gently wiping my tears off with her thumb. Her touch creating invisible sparks.

"What does it m-mean?" I asked between the sniffles, trying to remain strong.

Vanessa hesitated before she has finally decided to tell me. "Soulmate," her voice cracked.

Silence. My legs gave up, nearly causing me to fall onto my knees, but I maintained my balance.

"I'm your teacher..." she clenched her jaw as if preventing herself from crying. "Much older at that. I cannot pursue whatever this is," she pointed between us.

I felt overwhelmed, my stomach fell, and heart ached so badly I found it difficult to breathe, and no this wasn't a panic attack. I couldn't believe we even had this conversation, but I suppose it had to happen one way or another, we couldn't live this lie forever. I should have never allowed my imagination to take this so far, giving myself hope.

"Alexis..." she sounded so defeated and weak, I wanted to hug her and reassure that everything was going to be alright while being a mess myself. "You have to experience things and learn before you can make such life-changing decisions. I- well... I just cannot be the one to prevent you from doing that. I'm sorry."

She was hurting - I knew it, but she also has made her decision and I admired her for that. She had the strength to say no, while I wanted to keep on dreaming and play this game of 'maybe'. Nevertheless, I respected her wishes because she was just 'that' important.

It stung. I never would have imagined taking away hope would bring so much pain.

Who knew, I would break somebody's heart and a few minutes later get my own shattered into pieces.