Chapter 34: Calamity

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               "If you thought I was going to let you come out here by yourself, then you're crazy."

               "You should've stayed with your dad." I force myself not to limp or any of that weak bullsh1t that I know I can push aside to stride along the way I normally do, the clothes I'm wearing a little dirty but mostly clean, and I'm grateful they gave me a new set of cowboy boots along with my saber, my attitude already singed with annoyance at the fact that they let Carl come with me.

               Getting this straight, from the start. Deniece somehow found out about who I am, what the fvck is in my body to begin with, and then she made a deal with these as$holes, who, by zero stretch of the imagination, and obvious proof from observation, are the men she thought killed Tara.

               And now we're here, Carl and I, alone again, barely armed and barely stocked while going back...My gosh! We're going back, home, because Deniece also sold out the fact that my father is there as well as other people?

               So basically! No matter how many lies I tried to slide past that guy... he wouldn't buy them, and because of who I am, self pity aside, honesty abrupt, I'm here again putting innocent, or not so innocent, survivors in a tight spot.

               It's not just me. Obviously Deniece is the b1tch in all this, stirring her finger in a pot that's our business to get what she wanted. I don't even care anymore about the ins and outs of what the heIl happened.

               Number one priority is getting home...even though I know what will happen. They'll either give a sh1t and allow everyone to come in...or they'll keep me there and Carl.

               I'm almost at my limit, ready to throw up thinking about what a tight spot I'm in. If I don't convince them that they need to save them, they'll all die... And if they've already killed my father, what leverage do I have?

               What do I do!? I should be used to this sh1t by now, but I'm losing my mind with all the possible outcomes to this! I only need ONE thing to happen, just one end to all of this! I don't care if I get to D.C. right now; I care about those people in the fvcking ground! Yes, because of me, but it's more than guilt. Its human nature and attachment. Even if they didn't mean something to me, they mean a heck of a lot to the person I love.

               But I'm selfish. If this could end with all of us free, I'd be happy. Saving a whole world would be a hundred notches better than saving just one closely knit group.

               Either way, I don't see how this will work. I'm sick with anxiousness, wondering what will happen the second I enter those mall doors again.

               Fvck.

               "Are you listening?"

               I turn around and see Carl behind me, his eyes daggering against my own before I frown back.

               "Does it matter? Whatever you say it won't make me any less pissed off at you." I hiss in my female voice, not girly and high pitched or even remotely juvenile...just strong and blurred with a venomous haze. And yet against Carl, it sounds like the most feminine voice in existence after he lowers his tone in strained patience.

               "You're pissed off at me? We always come out even then, huh?" Here we go. "What the heIl were you thinking?!"

               He blew up pretty fast...Tch. Who could blame him?

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