Episode 38: Lost And Found

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In case you didn't see and wanted to check it out, I put a little story so far and character section update before this chapter. Voting for that isn't necessary, it's just a little extra update, but either way, if you wanted to look it over for the heck of it, thought I'd let ya know in case you didn't see it.

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             "They're back!" Kitty stands directly in front of me while I've been sitting on the fourth step to the boarding houses rugged staircase, holding the cup of water she gave me almost 2 hours ago, and I've lost my mind about a thousand times at the reality of me these past few days and what happened only a short time ago...everything, boiling down to me running back to this fvcked up place, and I'm tapping my foot to the point it's aching, so I'm glad, literally relieved and glad that finally, after running my as$ off to find this house and being ordered to wait alone with this girl that I don't even know I can fully trust, my dad is here.

               But is everyone alive? Is everyone still ok? Sh1t, how in the world did it go so wrong?! So off course and screwed up.

               "Dad!" I burst out the front door and yell before his eyes widen, yeah, in shock because I wasn't supposed to be here, but just like I knew he would do, I'm wrapped securely in his arms while he keeps us both steady.

               There is no way to even comprehend how relieving this feels, to hug my dad and see everyone alive and well because of what I thought would happen. I thought they'd be dead by now really...so I'm feeling pretty safe but, I can't do this anymore though. I can't pretend to be strong and fight for what I want. It's killing me, even now, the memory of pushing Spes away... No wonder I'm choking on my cry.

               "I lost her." My voice breaks. "I lost Spes. Dad-"

               "Slow down..." He pulls back to stare into my glazed eyes, his hands holding my shoulders to keep me focused on him, but I'm struggling to make coherent sentences since I keep seeing Spes' eyes in my head, drowning in salty water while I'm just standing in front of her, not giving a sh1t! "What do you mean?" Dad lifts his eyes to the house, gathering that Spes isn't inside. That I lost her... "How?"

               "There was a herd, it separated us..." I don't even care that I'm crying in front of everyone on both sides of the group. Out of the faces I see, I only notice the one that's missing, and it's tearing a hole in me for all my grief to spill out. "I tried looking for her..." I skip over the trivial stuff, the stupidity of me having amnesia, forgetting all of my scattered past, defining me, and save it for another time, after we haul out of here and find her. "Dad, please. Please, we have to look-"

               "We will." He growls while looking at Deniece behind me. "We will."

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               "As you requested." Kitty puts her hands out between us so I can look at the picture taken of me and Spes from a few days before now, the first night we came here, and I'm gently pulling it into my fingers, and I'm resisting to break down and cry in front of this girl, so I slide the memory into my pocket when I see another photo being handed to me.

               "What's that?" I jerk my head to the back of the picture and Kitty's eyes look like they've seen a ghost. Ha. A ghost would be the least of my problems at this point. In fact I wish a ghost was the problem at this point and hope that'd be the only problem, but it's not.

               "Uh, before everything, Spes wanted this. If you find her-"

               If?

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