Child Of The Future

Episode 18: Don't You See?

               "You going to tell me about who you killed? Or what?" I drop my bookbag next to Carl, his back against the couch in front of the fire with his legs propped up halfway while his face keeps to its serious self and he just looks at me settle down against a love seat or whatever, hoping he'll tell me what he was talking about before.

               "Why do you want to know?" He groans and rests his head back on the cushions.

               Why do I want to know? Well yeah, given my arrogance and sh1t, I don't really want to know because I think it'll help me. That's bullsh1t which only works on T.V. Which, by the way, I miss.

               So why? Why is Carl fvcking Grimes, so interesting to me? What is it about him besides the fact that he's the only guy out here my age that's taken my fancy, attraction wise? The way he's just sitting there, on the floor, still in his damp as$ clothes with a face of exhaustion and pepped out curiosity to deal with me, his neck seductively exposed with the fire glowing towards it.

               "You're here." I simply state. "Tell me why. You said you don't hate me, and that you're looking out for me, and you're supposed to help me...Mentioning killing someone. Putting us on the same level, almost."

               We're different. Both of us are totally different, and there's no way I could even begin to understand what the heIl this kind of guy is feeling. Since the first time I met him, so many weird things have happened, not gruesome, just weird things between us that are starting to pile up and flood over me that I can't surface to say some random excuse as to why it's consuming whenever I'm near him.

               "Isn't that how you plan to help me? Talking about-"

               "It just slipped." He keeps his eyes on his hands, the honesty and regret he's holding in his stare apparent even if he's trying to conceal it. "I didn't plan on helping you like that. I thought maybe, killing a few walkers would help." Carl's looking off to the side before he scoffs at yeah, how ridiculous that idea is.

               Kill a few walkers and I'll have an epiphany?

               "If only." I snort and bring my legs up to my knees. "Damm." I laugh and rest my chin on the stolen pair of workout pants I'm guessing no longer have an original owner.

               "What?" Carl imitates my position and I find myself staring at his straight expression, large eyes blinking a couple times like a little boy awaiting a bedtime story.

               Ok that's cute.

               "I was just thinking," I can't believe I'm about to pour my thoughts out to this guy. "Why do feelings have to be so complicated?" He frowns a bit. "They overlap, blend, blurrrrr, overcome...it sucks." I sigh and run a hand through my hair when a loud clap of thunder cracks overhead in the sky.

               I know I should probably feel a little scared that I'm out in the middle of nowhere, with a somewhat strange guy, and creepy 'walkers' lurking outside, with apparently even creepier adult people out there, with no protection except for whatever we have on our person, but I don't.

               I just feel somewhat relaxed right now actually.

               "I'll tell you about who I killed," I slide my direction towards Carl's thinking face before he smirks. "If you tell me about your home. You know. You're life before this. The mall?"

               "You want to know about that?" I raise an eyebrow. "Why?"

               "You had television! I'd kill for television!" His face drops when he realizes what he just said, and I swallow to process how to take that before an unexpected laugh passes the security of my teeth and out into the open.