Child Of The Future

Episode 60: This Is The Beginning

               What will happen to me?

               What is this stuff going to do to me?               

               What does this make me?

               What?

________________

              

               "Don't look back." Carl says the words I want to abide by, when I fasten my saber on my hip, swallowing down my nerves, the full impact of what happened yesterday finally getting to me that I think I'm going to be sick.

               Fvcking sick.

               "Once these doors close, they won't open again!" A guard warns us. "Are you sure you wa-"

               "Ye-"

               "No!" I'm interrupted, the voice of Estela somewhere inside the mall doors screaming towards me, and I know she's running her as$ off trying to reach me, sh1t I almost turned around too, but I felt Carl grab my hand instead, a signal that he's there for me, even if it's scary, and I'm back to that spot again.

               That ominous feeling, the lonely yet vivid encounter of leaving a place I recognized as home, visiting me again as I leave it a second time.

               Only this place isn't home.

               Home is next to me.

               Carl.

               And thankfully, my journey is set, and I'm not unaware like the first time.

               Fvck, it's like De Ja Vu, but not.

               "I'm ready." I turn to face him as the sun shimmers down over his pale yet healthy skin, our faces clean and bodies better than ever, aside from what happened to me, set for the journey ahead.

               "Spes!!" Estela's voice is louder.

               "I know what it's like for her." Carl speaks when I'm about to take a step.

               "What?"

               "You saying goodbye. I know what that's like." His tongue smoothes over his lower lip. "You can say goodbye to her, properly, the right way, if you want." Carl sighs. "I'll wait."

               Wait?

               "You didn't say goodbye to your dad when you came after me, did you?"

               "We were coming after you...dad, he-" I watch my most important person sigh again, a burden ridden on it this time. "He wanted to wait a night, but I couldn't. I came after you by myself." That's what I thought. "I didn't say goodbye."

               "You wish you had."

               "Spes!! Wait!! Where are you going?! Guard! Hold the door!!"

               "I wouldn't have found you if I did." Carl's eyes blaze a hot fire blue, the importance teetering.

               He's right, and that's almost the sick point.

               "Sometimes things have to end, and sometimes you don't get to say goodbye."

               Sometimes when you say hello, what comes after can last forever if you don't say farewell.