Hateful Desire

Chapter 19

The sun rises and I haven't had even a minute of sleep. I stayed up all night thinking about Draco's letter to me. Trying to figure out the pros and cons of meeting up with him. Every scenario in my head has been run through and they end all poorly.

What I can't seem to wrap my head around is why he would want to talk to me? What is it that is so important that I am the only person he can talk to? That is the one thought that I can't seem to escape. It is also the most tempting thought.

I hear a knock on my door and I see my father enter in my room with tea in his hand.

"Merry Christmas sweetheart." he says with a gentle voice.

"Merry Christmas father." I smile up at him as I sit myself up on my bed, taking the tea from his hands as he sits on the bed with me.

"I wanted to wake you first. How did you sleep?"

"Fine, is everything alright?" I am a little concerned.

"Yes, I just wanted to talk about you going back to school. You know I have my worries.." His eyes fall from mine.

I grab his hand lightly and look up at him, "Father, please, there is no reason to be worried. Nothing can happen to me as long as Dumbledore lives. And to be honest, he has done a pretty good job at that." I give off a small laugh to try and lighten the mood.

"I know, but Olivia, I won't be able to protect you if something were to happen. That is the hardest part." His tone is genuine with worry behind it.

"Father," this time I make sure he is looking at me before I continue, "I don't need your protection. I'm not a child anymore. I love you and I promise you will not lose me." He doesn't respond, he gives me a nod before ending the conversation with a weak smile. I am not sure if I have fully convinced him yet, but I am too tired to keep talking about this. 

"Lets go get Aunt Melonie and Louis up, let's have a good Christmas." I say as I pull the sheets off of me. My father nods and follows me to Melonie's room to wake her and her new husband.

All morning, I find myself distracted by Dracos letter. I keep going back and forth on what I am going to do. During breakfast I was for sure not going. During our stroll later that day, I was for sure going. And about twenty minutes ago I was for sure not going. Now I am back in the loop of being indecisive. 

We all sit at the dining room table playing cards as Melonie starts cooking dinner.

"Melonie, I have a question." I say looking at my cards trying to figure out my next move.

"Yes dear?" she asks with her back turned towards me.

"Would you ever..take a risk on something even if you don't know what the outcome will be?" I keep my eyes on my cards and place a couple down on the table waiting for my fathers next move.

"Well..." she turns to face me wiping her hands on her apron, "that depends."

"On what exactly?" I turn my head towards her.

"On how much it matters to me." Her face furrows, "Are we talking about anything specific dear?" She questions.

"No, just curious." I simply respond as my father lays down his cards.

"Well in that case, if that something or someone was important to me," I turn to look in her eyes, "then I would always take the risk." She looks at me as if she is trying to read my mind.

"Agreed! Always take risks for the people you love Olivia." My father cuts in. Although he barely looks like he is even listening to the conversation with his brows furrowed looking at the cards Louis just placed on the table.